Ted Kooser, US Poet Laureate from 2004 to 2006. Photo by UNL Publications and Photography.

Somebody tells somebody else about something that happened. It comes naturally. We’ve been doing that for as long as our species has been around. But to elevate an anecdote into art requires more than just relating an incident. It requires a talent for pacing, for detail, for persuasion, and more. Here David Black, of Virginia, tells a good story in an artful manner.

Sleepers

A sleeper, they used to call it—

four passes with the giant round saw

and you had a crosstie, 7 inches by 9 of white oak—

at two hundred pounds nearly twice my weight

and ready to break finger or toe—

like coffin lids, those leftover slabs,

their new-sawn faces turning gold and brown

as my own in the hot Virginia sun,

drying toward the winter and the woodsaw

and on the day of that chore

I turned over a good, thick one

looking for the balance point

and roused a three-foot copperhead,

gold and brown like the wood,

disdaining the shoe it muscled across,

each rib distinct as a needle stitching leather,

heavy on my foot as a crosstie.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation, publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2000 by David Black, whose most recent book of poetry is The Clown in the Tent, Persimmon Tree Press, 2010. Reprinted by permission of David Black. Introduction copyright ©2011 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (Rated R)

Don’t be fooled by the holiday spirit of Christmas being included in the title of the raunchy comedy “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.”

This warning is a superfluous bit of information if you have even the vaguest familiarity with the two previous “Harold & Kumar” comic misadventures into the land of political incorrectness.

Fueled by a casual use of weed that would make Cheech and Chong proud, “Harold & Kumar” delights in being the outrageous stoner comedy that gets kicks out of a toddler high on everything from cocaine to ecstasy.

Of course, the little tot in question is only accidentally exposed to the fumes of marijuana smoke, a dust storm of blow and ecstasy pills mistaken for candy.

There are plenty of hijinks in this movie that should prove offensive to just about every conceivable ethnic and religious group. Even Jesus shows up in the company of two lovely topless angels.

While plot is not necessarily important here, the action revolves around the titular characters, estranged old buddies from college days who become reunited during the holiday season.

Harold (John Cho), now a successful Wall Street financier, lives in a nice suburban home with his beautiful Maria (Paula Garces).

On the other hand, Kumar (Kal Penn) remains a slacker living in a shabby Manhattan apartment. His girlfriend has given up on him becoming a responsible person. But for the recent news of pregnancy, she would probably move on.

On Christmas Eve, Harold finds that Maria’s extended Mexican family has descended on their home, including a hostile father-in-law (the wonderfully menacing Danny Trejo) who is abnormally exuberant about the holidays.

Meanwhile, Kumar discovers a package addressed to Harold at his door, and decides to deliver it in person to Harold’s New Jersey home.

The content of said package is an enormous joint. Naturally, Kumar lights up the doobie, only to cause a fire that destroys the beautiful Christmas tree that Harold’s father-in-law had lovingly arranged.

Of course, complications arise and mayhem ensues as the bickering old pals set out on a desperate quest to locate a replacement tree of similar quality.

With Maria’s family attending Midnight Mass, the boys have only hours to find the perfect Douglas fir, no easy task late on Christmas Eve.

Their first encounter is with two perfidious African-American tree vendors who just sold the tree they reserved over the phone to someone else.

As a consequence, a chain of events is set in motion that leads to a car chase, an encounter with the Russian mob, the accidental shooting of Santa Claus in the face and a reunion with Neal Patrick Harris, though not necessarily in that order.

Along the way, Harold and Kumar get stoned and end up in a hallucination that involves an inventive use of Claymation to illustrate the fierce power of a deranged oversized snowman.

Much of the slapstick and the sight gags are random silliness, from topless nuns in a shower scene to Harold’s elderly Mexican relative being mistaken for a flower vendor in his own home.

“A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” is, above all, a collection of often disconnected gags that are designed for maximum outrageous fun.

On that score, this film succeeds and proves to be very funny. Seeing the threatening Danny Trejo wearing a colorful Christmas sweater is priceless.

At long last, “Harold & Kumar” makes spectacular use of 3-D technology as the audience is frequently assaulted by various projectiles, including huge puffs of pot smoke, traffic cones, shards of glass and a massive private part.

ENTERTAINMENT BOOK UPDATE

This column did not intend to initiate a regular book feature, but I can’t resist a mention of the astonishing “Marilyn Monroe: Metamorphosis,” a spectacular collection of original photographs.

Curator and photographic preservationist David Wills has amassed one of the world’s largest independent archives of original Marilyn Monroe photographs.

The book catalogs a dazzling portfolio of images from every period of the star’s adult life, from her wedding day in 1942 until just weeks before her death two decades later.

Included are many previously unpublished and rarely seen shots. The works of noted photographers Richard Avedon, George Barris, Bernard of Hollywood, Philippe Halsman, Milton Greene and many others are on full display.

Highlights include rare candid shots of Marilyn with Marlon Brando, Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Queen Elizabeth II, Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable and Joe DiMaggio, to name a few.

Arriving in time for the holidays, “Marilyn Monroe: Metamorphosis” is the perfect coffee table book gift for the fan of this iconic Hollywood star.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

The evening of art and music will take place from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the gallery, 325 N. Main Street, Lakeport.

New works from the following local artists will be introduced: Carmon Brittain, unique one-of-a-kind acrylic paintings; Marilyn Crayton, wood-burned, dyed original designed gourds; Elaine Lewis, original award-winning watercolors and oil paintings; Diana Leibe, beautiful hand-dyed/painted silk scarfs; David Fidjland, artistic black and white and colored photography; Laura Sawyer, whimsical acrylic animal portraits; Shelby Posada, original capricious abstract acrylics.

Currently showing at the gallery are Carmen Patterson, landscape oils, Lake County scenes; Dennis and Evelyn Robison, original pastel landscapes, animals and more; Patricia Skoog, original watercolors; Carol Yanagitsubo, custom made jewelry; Caroyln Wing Greenlee, handmade custom jewelry, introducing her unique “Solo Uno” (one of a kind) collection; Bill Bluhm and Crystal, all natural hand made gifts, unique wood art, jewelry box with lamp, and more; Bobbie Bridges, original watercolor and acrylic paintings and prints; Ray Farrow, original alkyd landscape paintings and more.

There will be finger food, a chance to meet the artists, music by George Husaruk, and wine poured by Wildhurst Winery.

For more information contact the Main Street Gallery at 707-263-6658.

I love listening to shop talk, to overhear people talking about their work. Their speech is not only rich with the colorful names of tools and processes, but it’s also full of resignation. A job is, after all, a job.

Here’s a poem by Jorge Evans of Minnesota, who’s done some hard work.

Overtime

Fair season and we’re tent pitching

on holy grounds in central Illinois,

busting through pavement with jack hammers,

driving home a stake that will be pulled two months

from now. One of us holds, the other presses

down, grease shooting between cracks

in the old hammer’s worn shell

to our hands and faces – one slip and we’ve

lost our toes. I’m from the warehouse,

not the tent crew. I haven’t ridden around

in tent haulers across the nation

popping tents here and there, but for this,

the state fair, the warehousers are let out

to feel important. Around us a silvered city

has risen, white vinyl tents at full mast

and clean for the first time in a year. It’s August.

It’s the summer’s dogged days when humidity

doesn’t break until midnight, an hour after

the fair’s closed down. We’re piled on back

of a flatbed with our tools, our tiredness.

We’re a monster understood best

by Midwesterners, devouring parking lots

and fields, our teeth stained by cigarette

and chew, some of us not old enough, some

too old. All of us here for the overtime.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation, publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2010 by Jorge Evans. Reprinted from the South Dakota Review, Vol. 48, no. 2, Summer 2010, by permission of Jorge Evans and the publisher. Introduction copyright ©2011 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

PUSS IN BOOTS (Rated PG)

As the “Shrek” franchise gradually diminished in quality, the lone standout character was a fabulous swashbuckling feline adept with one-liners.

The good news is that Puss (voiced by Antonio Banderas) is the rare creature who goes from popular supporting role to the main player with great wit and style.

As a result, “Puss in Boots” is one of the funniest animation films of recent times because Puss, ever resourceful and clever, is a most improbable wanted outlaw.

After all, who would find an orange cat, sporting a feathered hat, wearing oversized boots and brandishing a large sword, to be a fearsome beast?

For one, the villagers of San Ricardo are well aware that Puss is a legendary desperado, if only because the omnipresent wanted posters do the trick.

Providing necessary flashbacks, “Puss in Boots” recounts Puss’ sad childhood, where he was an orphan in San Ricardo before he turned to a life of crime.

His buddy at the orphanage was Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis), the mastermind of a bank robbery that ensnared his feline pal into having a notorious reputation.

The story picks up with the present day, where Puss meets his match in Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek), a feisty dark-haired cat disguised by a leather hood.

Kitty has fallen in with Humpty Dumpty, so there’s plenty of tension between the two felines, which is most amusing when they face off in a dueling dance before an audience of other cats.

Meanwhile, Humpty Dumpty is getting serious about his childhood dream of robbing Jack and Jill of their “magic beans” so that he can climb the beanstalk and steal the goose laying the golden eggs.

Jack and Jill (voiced by Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris, respectively), hilariously portrayed as in-bred hillbillies, jealously guard the magic beans.

A seriously unhinged married couple, Jack and Jill bring a dark edge to the story, which is amusingly lightened up when they talk about settling down and having children. The thought boggles the mind.

While Humpty Dumpty would like to redeem himself with his old friend Puss, his ruthless ambition to steal the golden goose ensures that he is on the express lane to recidivism.

Unfortunately, Humpty Dumpty’s schemes threaten to take Puss down into an irreversible path of deception and despair. But the heroic orange kitty is all-too-certain to come out on top in the end.

What makes “Puss in Boots” so enjoyable for filmgoers of all ages is the absolute silliness of a fairytale world in which a swashbuckling cat is the hero and a large talkative and ambulatory egg is a career criminal.

The comic absurdity of “Puss in Boots” is made all the better by the determined and forcefully physical performances of the lead characters, even more so when they are sparring and bantering in high spirits.

It would be hard to think of an actor more suitable to the role of Puss than Antonio Banderas, who brings the right note of swagger, style, confidence and even vulnerability to the part.

Where the “Shrek” franchise ran out of steam after the second installment, here’s hoping that “Puss in Boots” will return for a sequel soon, because this is one cartoon character that can go the distance.

On a final note, the 3D technology works proves to be very productive and practical for this animated film, unlike other recent efforts that seemed to be gimmicky.

TV BOOK UPDATE

And now for something completely different in this column, we draw your attention to a published celebration of the 50th Anniversary of “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”

First airing on Oct. 3, 1961, “The Dick Van Dyke Show” was nearly canceled after the first season but went on to become the most acclaimed comedy of TV’s golden age.

Chronicling the show’s transformation through all 158 episodes, “The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book” is a wonderful show biz saga that includes interviews from cast and crew.

The interviews include the stars’ backstage anecdotes, the story behind the famous ottoman intro, and Carl Reiner’s scriptwriting process.

There’s also the backstory of episode No. 64 “That’s My Boy???” – it had the longest span of laughter from a live studio audience.

Then there’s the controversy surrounding Mary Tyler Moore’s progressive dress style, coming in the form of Capri pants.

The book includes more than 140 exclusive images, many never before published. This is not just a definitive history of a show, but a glimpse into the history of American culture from a bygone era.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

The concert will begin at 8 p.m.

Boyd is a poet, guitarist, tale-spinner and scholar.

Suggested donation is $10.

For reservations or directions call Laura Jerngan, 707-245-0629, or e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..