Until the affirmative marijuana vote by the Board of Supervisors, we had dodged the bullet in the last election. If Moss and Brandon had joined Denise Rushing to form a majority, this gentle, charming county would have become San Francisco light, road rage and all. Voters also demonstrated by rejecting Measure D that they opposed turning the county over to backyard marijuana farming.

I wasn’t surprised by Rushing, Brown or Farrington. I expected Rushing to vote to let pot growers grow pot. I anticipated Brown, a straight shooter, would oppose piecemeal law-breaking – and he did. Farrington is a born compromiser; he would attempt to broker a time-sharing compromise between a convent and a brothel.

Following Farrington’s compromise proposal, given a choice between good and evil, the supervisors, except Brown, voted for half evil, satisfying nobody. It’s as if a virgin decided to become just a little pregnant.

We got in this mess because California ignored federal law, pot growers ignored California and federal law, and the supervisors got confused. I propose that when it comes back around, we ignore all outside laws and make some money for the county.

Since the growers declare themselves farmers, let’s pass an ordinance that limits growing a normal amount of plants to fit on a normal farm of no less than twenty acres – like tobacco farmers – instead of tiny, stinking, dangerous backyard nuisances. Medicinal marijuana is nonsense; it is recreational stuff – just like liquor and tobacco, only worse. Pain-reducing chemicals in marijuana are available in pills.

If growing the stuff is legal then let’s stop the sneaky, impossible to monitor and control, backyard stuff and grow it openly as a farmland crop. It could be a cooperative, shared by many growers.

Since each plant is worth a few thousand dollars, let’s rake off, say, a thousand dollars as a fee for the county for each plant harvested. After all, these pot growers will pound our roads and streets cultivating, harvesting and marketing their crops. Furthermore, now that we’re about to be a sanctuary county for pot growing, hordes of hairy, smelly, law-breaking folks will migrate here and fill our jail.

By taxing pot we will become a wealthy county, collecting enough money to fill potholes (pot holes?) and afford smooth roads that are the envy of California. Furthermore we will amass sufficient cash from taxing pot to forgo the proposed sales tax and build a spacious, elegant jail to hold the hairy, law-breaking hordes that pot attracts.

However, we need a sheriff who will support inspections and enforce laws regarding marijuana. An added benefit is that, as with tobacco, we can pass laws to keep it from children.

Randy Ridgel lives in Kelseyville, Calif.

Details

Written by: Randy Ridgel

Published: 16 July 2012