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- Written by: Lake County News Reports
I’m here to educate, not insult; if some readers are insulted by the end of this special column I will understand, but I will also have done my job. After all, I sit at restaurants and watch you eat, and you need some advice.
Most Americans have the table manners of an Irish setter. I can hear you already claiming, “Not me!” as if you are the Apostle Peter being questioned. Face it, Peter knew Jesus and denied it, just as you have the etiquette that would make Miss Manners get the dry heaves and yet you still profess, “I have good manners!”
I’ve mentioned before the fact that I had grandparents that were a little pedantic when it came to proper etiquette and I have had formal etiquette training. I, however, don’t swagger into the every room like James Bond or open the car door every time for my family. I scratch my self inappropriately in public and sometimes a little too vigorously. I’ll admit that I’m not perfect, but I do put forth an effort for my fellow diners.
My wife loves it when we go to a formal event because I turn on the formal etiquette switch and become the most desired man at the table (except for the fact that I look like a yeti … in a tux). I can employ manners so refined that I have seen women gaze longingly at the idea of being treated with such courtesy and the men sitting at a table with me become embarrassed. But it’s the ones that never even notice what I do that I want to address today.
I went to a charity dinner not too long ago and fully expected to write about the event for this column. My wife wasn’t able to accompany me, and the tables seated even numbers so since I was there on my own I was seated at a table where I didn’t know anyone with other mismatched guests. The food was good, the ambiance was elegant, but the people at my table had such disgusting table manners that it ruined the evening for me, and I had no intention of sharing this horrible experience or marring this charitable event with a full sordid portrayal.
The dinner was served family style, which means the food comes on serving platters for the entire table and you serve yourself from the communal plate. The salad was brought to the table in a large bowl and immediately one of the ladies at the table began to pick the croutons from the serving bowl with her fingers and eat them. I couldn’t believe she was doing that, but then again all of the men at the table (except for me) were wearing hats; my hat was stashed in the corner of the room. Evidently nobody informed me that baseball caps are now considered formal dinner attire. I decided the faux pas to this point were forgivable and continued with my dinner.
When the main course arrived there were serving tongs with the food, but evidently they were a foreign tool to my compatriots as they all virtually simultaneously reached out with their forks and stabbed the food in the shared plate and hoisted it to their own dinner plate. I guess my dinner companions’ hunting and gathering efforts for the day were a failure and they needed to gorge themselves as quickly as possible before the saber-toothed cats showed up. Clearly my eyes must have widened in shock at the sight because one of the guests looked at me as if I had a frog on my face.
Later when one of the ladies of the table needed to leave for a moment, I rose up as she did and stood there as she left before sitting back down. The other men at the table looked at me momentarily, wondering where I was going, but then returned to chewing on the carcasses on their plates. It was at this point that the dinner became a dismal failure for me, which was unfair to my hosts. It wasn’t their fault; they had provided a lovely atmosphere with good food, but the behavior of my tablemates literally spoiled my appetite.
What’s the big deal about etiquette? Why should it matter how people act at in public?
Etiquette is a matter of mutually supported self-protection. Etiquette came about as a way for enemies to meet to discuss treaties and be assured that the each man wasn’t going to assassinate the other.
The handshake, for example, originated as a full grasp of an opponent’s forearm as a way of determining that he had no hidden knives up his sleeve. It evolved into a polite greeting among friends.
Raising a glass in a toast started out being a splashing of one man’s mead into another’s, and honor demanding they both drink to prove trust that there was no poison. Removing one’s hat indoors was required by the host so that he could see his guest’s face and determine his intentions.
Over time habits such as this evolved into civilized and polite social customs, but there is still merit in them. Displaying etiquette shows respect for your host and your host’s guests. Not picking food off a communal plate with your fingers is a sanitary issue.
Soon after my charity dinner fiasco, I attended a much more formal charity dinner (I attend a lot of charity dinners). Now me being the silly goose that I am, I expected to be joined by people of more refinement. I bet you’re laughing already aren’t you?
Here’s a couple of standouts: One of the women at the table knew someone at another table and they yelled back and forth to each other as if a conversation between people 20 feet apart is perfectly normal at a formal function. And maybe you’re not aware of this but it is perfectly proper to eat asparagus and fried chicken with your bare hands ... but not your baked potato. Really, I watched that take place this evening also.
I can understand why proper manners are falling by the wayside. Personally I think the fact that families aren’t eating together as much anymore is one of the main reasons that people don’t know or aren’t learning etiquette anymore. I had parents, grandparents and nuns with yardsticks always pushing proper etiquette on me and my siblings. It was a constant subject at every meal, even when dining at home. With the lack of eating meals together, there’s no opportunity to hone the finer points of etiquette, beyond “Don’t rub spaghetti in your hair!”
I’d like to help. Let’s cover a few basics ...
A gentleman should – yes, that’s what you should aspire to be – a gentleman should consider his date’s comfort at all times and in any way possible. He should accord her every display of respect. Why? In this day and age when women have equality, why should we treat them so specially? Because, let’s face it, we still want to be with them, don’t we? Behaving like a gentleman, you become desirable to women. Trust me on this, I’m no George Clooney. I’m surprised that I don’t have to club women over the head like a Neanderthal and drag them off by their hair. But once I turn on the refined manners, I get attention.
A gentleman stands up every time any lady leaves or arrives at the table. You have to be observant, notice that they are coming or going and have your napkin ready and wipe your mouth and swallow before standing. As I heard it said once, “The price for dining with a lady is eternal vigilance.”
A gentleman will not touch his food until every lady at the table has taken a bite out of their meal, not just his own date. It’s a sign of respect for women in general. No one should touch a drink or eat a bite until the host has. He or she sets the tone and pace of the meal or event, and that position should be respected.
There are many schools of thought on where your arms should be during dinner. The French custom is to see both hands in sight at all times, the origin being so they could be sure that their guests were not going to pull a knife on them. Therefore, they rest their forearms on the edge of the table. The English custom was established by more sanitary concerns, so they keep inactive hands in their laps. Under no conditions should elbows make it onto the table.
Never use your napkin as a handkerchief. ‘Nuff said.
Your drink is to the right side of your setting, your bread dish to the left. Remember it by “Drink Right.”
Wait staff is trained to serve you from the right and clear from the left, so cool it on the grand gestures and flailing arms. They know what they’re doing, or should.
I don’t know why I have to say this, but ... please, swallow your food before you speak. Your anecdote isn’t so interesting that I want to watch your food as you tell it.
Foods that it is considered to be proper etiquette to be eaten with the fingers are: artichokes, asparagus, bacon, cookies, corn on the cob, whole fruits or berries with stems, hamburgers, hors d’ourves, hot dogs, French fries, fried chicken, pickles, oysters on the half shell, potato chips ... you get the idea.
There are many more things that I could mention here but I think that these basics will make your meal and the dinner of your companions much more enjoyable and civilized. No one ever talks enthusiastically about their wonderful dinner with the Cro-Magnons next door.
Ross A. Christensen is an award-winning gardener and gourmet cook. He is the author of "Sushi A to Z, The Ultimate Guide" and is currently working on a new book. He has been a public speaker for many years and enjoys being involved in the community.
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You can now follow me on Twitter! Log onto www.twitter.com/foodiefreak and see what events I’m going to!
June 1: Sunday Brunch in the Garden, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. Brunch served 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Michael Barrish and Scott Sommers on guitar and vocals, 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 8: Monday Blues, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Lake Blues All Stars with Neon will perform. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 12: Fondue Fridays, Lake County Wine Studio, Upper Lake. Begins at 6 p.m. Cheese fondue available with wine. Telephone, 707-275-8030.
June 13: Concert in the Vineyard Series, Moore Family Winery, Kelseyville. The Fargo Brothers, Rock and Roll; fajita feast, $8, or hot dog meal, $5.
June 14: Sunday Brunch in the Garden, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. Brunch served 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Will Seigel and Friends from Ukiah, 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 15: Monday Blues, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Blues Farm with Dave Broida will perform. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 19: Fondue Fridays, Lake County Wine Studio, Upper Lake. Begins at 6 p.m. Cheese fondue available with wine. Telephone, 707-275-8030
June 21: Sunday Brunch in the Garden, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. A special Father’s Day Brunch will be served 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Jay Blue on guitar, flute and vocals, 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 22: Monday Blues, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Twice as Good with Paul Steward will perform. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 26: Fondue Fridays, Lake County Wine Studio, Upper Lake. Begins at 6 p.m. Cheese fondue available with wine. Telephone, 707-275-8030.
June 28: Sunday Brunch in the Garden, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. Brunch served 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Austin & Owens on Flamenco guitar, 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
June 29: Monday Blues, The Blue Wing, Upper Lake. 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Bottle Rock Blues Band with Mike Wilhelm will perform. Telephone, 707-275-2244.
Ongoing activities
The New Cool at Konocti Harbor featuring David Neft. Konocti Harbor hosts “The Piano Man” David Neft, playing the grand piano from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. every Friday and Saturday in the relaunched dining room. Visit Konocti Harbor online at www.konoctiharbor.com.
Certified Farmers Market, Steele Winery, Kelseyville. A variety of produce grown in the area as well as flowers, coffee, pastries and bread, arts and crafts, and live entertainment. Saturdays starting at 8:30 a.m. until noon, May through October.
Langtry Estate and Vineyard Tours, Middletown. Langtry Estate and Vineyard is offering exciting and innovative tour programs. Guests ride in battery-operated Global Electric Motorcars. Tours are offered Tuesday through Saturday. The Tephra Vineyard Lunch Tours are offered at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. $40 per person includes lunch and wine tasting. 21000 Butts Canyon Road. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Info: 707-987-2385.
Tuscan Village Friday Concert Series, Main Street, Lower Lake. Live music, food, wine tasting. Presented by 2Goombas and Terrill Cellars. 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Info: 707-994-3354.
A Taste of Lake County Wine Tours, countywide. Spend the day sipping fine wine, enjoying a gourmet picnic amongst the vines, taking in the rustic beauty of Lake County. Tour includes picnic lunch and tasting fees. Perfect for small groups. Tours of Napa also available. Visit Aero Shuttle online at www.aeroshuttleservice.com ; or call 707-987-1920.
Beer Master Dinner Series, Molly Brennan’s, 175 N. Main St., Lakeport. Second Tuesday of each month, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Different brewery featured each month, with beers paired with each course of a five-course meal including dessert. Advance reservations required. Info: 707-262-1600.
Lake County Wine Tours, countywide. Experience the “Undiscovered Wine Country” that is Lake County. Taste award winning premier wines at friendly tasting rooms and in stunning vineyards. Knowledgeable guide, all tasting fees and a gourmet picnic lunch included. Visit them online at www.lakecountywinetours.com ; telephone, 707-998-4471.
If you have a food- or wine-related event and would like to have it listed in the coming months, please feel free to call Ross Christensen at 707-998-9550.
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- Written by: Elizabeth Larson
UPPER LAKE – Federal law enforcement agents served search warrants on an Upper Lake woman's downtown business and her nearby residence on Friday morning.
Neighbors said several federal agents with weapons arrived at about 8 a.m. and entered My Sister's Attic and Bargain Basement, located in Suite A at 9485 Main St.
The business, which rents its downtown storefront, is owned by Aileen Krewson. The antique and gift shop marked its grand opening on April 25 with a Lakeport Regional Chamber of Commerce ribbon cutting.
A short time after one set of agents arrived at the business, others appeared at Krewson's home on First and Government streets, where they held her in custody for most of the day while they searched her home.
The investigation is under the auspices of the US Postal Service Office of the Inspector General, said Special Patricia Ford-Smith, who was at the business along with several other special agents wearing dark blue vests that said “police” and “federal agent.”
Ford-Smith confirmed the service of the search warrants at Krewson's home and business. Neither warrant was drug-related, she said.
No arrests were being made on Friday, Ford-Smith added.
Capt. James Bauman of the Lake County Sheriff's Office said the search warrant service wasn't being assisted by local authorities, and that they hadn't been notified it was taking place.
Krewson, a former Postal Service employee, told Lake County News that at around 8:30 a.m., after her boyfriend left for his job in Willits, she saw agents running down the street.
They completely circled her home; she said when she started to open the door to ask what was going on, agents – their weapons drawn – pushed in the door, knocking her backwards.
The special agents kept her in custody in her home from 8:30 a.m. until about 3 p.m. She said her boyfriend also was held by three agents at his workplace.
When he was allowed to return home late in the day, Krewson said 12 agents met him in the driveway and made him enter the house through the backyard, where she was able to speak with him for the first time since he left earlier in the day.
Krewson estimated about 12 to 15 agents total were in her house; four monitored her in the kitchen while the rest searched the home.
“They want to try to get me for workers compensation fraud,” said Krewson, who has had a long-running workers compensation case against the US Postal Service due to arm injuries suffered on the job, including a badly torn right rotator cuff that required surgery.
She said they took two books on dolls from her downtown shop; from her home they took some workers compensation files.
Regina J. King, assistant special agent in charge with the US Postal Service Office of the Inspector General's Pacific area field office in Oakland, said the federal search warrant and affidavit served at Krewson's business currently are under seal, and therefore she was unable to release any additional information or details at this time.
Office of the Inspector General special agents investigate crimes against the Postal Service and those involving postal employees and contractors, King said.
Krewson worked as a window clerk in two post offices in Hemet, located in Riverside County.
She won a December 2000 case against the US Postal Service, which had tried to withhold $59.58 from her salary to recover a shortage in her window credit account found the previous December, according to case records obtained by Lake County News.
In that case, her co-workers supplied written statements attesting to “her care and diligence in following required procedures.” She also had a clean audit history, with the one exception in the December 1999 finding.
Krewson said she took the Postal Service to court and won a case against them alleging harassment, discrimination and retaliation. But the fight for the $14,000 she said is owed to her has continued.
Along the way she said she lost her home and husband, so three years ago she moved to Upper Lake, and in April she opened her new store. “I was trying to get on with some kind of a normal life.”
Krewson said the Postal Service's motive is to get her off of workers compensation. “This is where the term 'going postal' comes from,” she said. “This is what they do.”
A female agent leading the operation reportedly made disparaging comments to Krewson's boyfriend, accusing Krewson of claiming she's being abused while she's “making a good living” at her new store.
Krewson said she's never had any legal problems – not event a speeding ticket – and added that it's humiliating that she has to prove her innocence.
She added, “This is going to force them to go to court.”
Krewson said she plans to reopen her store, and will be open on Saturday for the annual Wild West Day celebration.
King said that the information about Krewson's investigation should be made public at some point in the future, and that the case will be handled by the United States Attorney, Northern District of California.
E-mail Elizabeth Larson at
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KELSEYVILLE – Nearly $120,000 in scholarships was awarded on Thursday as part of Kelseyville High School’s Senior Awards Night.
The cover of the event's program read, “Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.”
This proved to be true for many seniors who, as a class, received approximately $119,222 in scholarship money from various organizations, memorial funds and businesses.
Principal Matt Cockerton kicked off the ceremony in the student center at 7 p.m. by welcoming all senior students, faculty, friends, family and other guests. Senior Amanda Mueller led the attendees and participants in the flag salute.
Eric Larsen began the awards and scholarship recognition with the presentation of the California Scholastic Federation Awards, assisted by CSF President Megan Andre. Approximately 40 presenters took the podium to present various awards and scholarships throughout the next hour.
Presenter and K-Corps Coordinator and Advisor Joanie Holt told the crowd, “This is the only time that these members are recognized publicly for their time, dedication and many hours put in” to the search and rescue program.
She said that they each average 400 hours per year that they participate in the two-year program.
Lake County Sheriff's Sgt. Gary Basor also commended the group, stating that people “depend on the skills and abilities (of the K-Corps members) to find family members” and that he is “proud and happy to say that they do it extremely well.”
Accompanied by her daughter Makaila, Jackie Rodrigues presented a scholarship in memory of her other daughter, Ashlee Rodrigues, who died in a boating accident in 2006. Michalyn Crawford received the scholarship.
Jackie Rodrigues shared with the seniors one of her daughter’s favorite quotes, “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the ones who treat you right, forget the ones that don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it. After all, nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.”
Awards for athletes of the year were presented by Athletic Director Steve Olson to Megan Andre and Mike Duman.
Olson also presented the Babe Ruth Award to Maille McCallister and co-winners for the boys, Nick Schaefer and Troy Davis. McCallister and Duman were also recognized as Press Democrat Athlete of the Year nominees and Andre and Schaefer as Press Democrat Scholar Athletes.
Recognized and awarded for their accomplishments in the classroom, in the community, through agriculture and for other various accomplishments, were ceremony standouts Karin Vandraiss, Maille McCallister, Paz Lozano, Jonathan Bridges, Amanda Mueller, Melissa Denton and Megan Andre.
Vandraiss received a single scholarship in the amount of $38,000 from her future university, the University of Puget Sound in Washington. Andre also received a single scholarship from her future university, Portland’s Lewis and Clark, in the amount of $23,000.
The evening ended with the announcement of the sole Perfect Attendance Award presented to Jess Totorica, who was absent from the ceremony.
When asked what he thought about this year Senior Awards Night, Cockerton replied, “Given the state of the economy it is heartwarming to see (that) organizations stepped up and provided for the kids.”
He said that he was pleased with the number of presenters from the community and various organizations that showed up to honor these seniors.
Kelseyville High School's graduation will take place at 8 p.m. on the football field on Friday, June 12, with gates opening at 6:30 p.m.
E-mail Caitlin Andrus at
