THE COUNSELOR (Rated R) and BAD GRANDPA (Rated R)

This week is a double bill of R-rated fare, one of them a comedy and the other a crime thriller that is mostly laughable. One film is funny, while the other is cartoonish in its violence and absurd in its dialogue.

“The Counselor” represents the maiden original screenplay written by acclaimed author Cormac McCarthy (“No Country for Old Men”). This film is proof that his work is best translated to screen by others.

Ostensibly film noir dressed up with some bleak humor, “The Counselor” seemingly had great promise, or so it seemed from trailers that suggested exciting action with interesting characters at the core.

On the plus side, there is a surfeit of talented A-list actors, though a few are wasted. Lovely as ever, Penelope Cruz, as the standout example, has little to do as the lone innocent victim.

Cruz’s Laura is the object of affection for an El Paso lawyer who is known only as Counselor (Michael Fassbender).

We assume this criminal defense attorney is successful because he drives a Bentley and flies off to Amsterdam just to buy his girlfriend Laura a huge, sparkling diamond ring.

One of the Counselor’s wealthier clients is the eccentric Reiner (Javier Bardem), a shady nightclub owner connected to drug cartels. Sporting a horrible fright wig, gaudy clothes and oversized glasses, Bardem often seems to be channeling a bad impression of Christopher Walken.

Reiner’s partner and love interest is Cameron Diaz’s Malkina, an emotionless, cutthroat vixen and true sociopath (she’s got a terrible outdated two-tone hairdo, which supposedly makes her look the part).

Outside the violence, the film’s most shocking scene involves the insatiably demented Malkina having sex with Reiner’s sports car, while he watches from the passenger seat. Don’t ask me to explain this.

The convoluted story of “The Counselor” involves Fassbender’s attorney, overcome by greed, asking to get in on a big drug deal, where Brad Pitt’s philosophizing Westray, decked out in a Stetson and Western garb, serves as the mysterious middleman with the cartel.

That the Counselor, fully aware of the dangers, would get involved with the Mexican drug traffickers on a big score is ludicrous. One has to wonder how stupid this guy is. How many times did it take him to pass the bar exam?

Naturally, it doesn’t take long for the Counselor to find out that he’s way in over his head, putting his life and that of his loved one in great danger. Ruthless, graphic violence follows suit.

Assume the worst, grisly behavior by vicious cartel thugs, and you’ve pretty much summed up where “The Counselor” is headed. The fake eloquence of the dialogue doesn’t make it any better.

The most interesting of the bad guys is Brad Pitt’s cowboy philosopher, who often speaks in riddles but dispenses advice with teasing amusement. Sadly, there is little to recommend for “The Counselor.”

It’s hard to imagine that the better movie of the week involves Johnny Knoxville doing his usual “Jackass” stunts, fooling ordinary citizens as the homespun and slightly tamer version of Borat.

The comedy of “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” operates from a simple candid camera premise. Donning geriatric makeup, Knoxville’s 86-year-old recently widowed Irving Zisman journeys across the American heartland with his 8-year-old grandson Billy (Jackson Nicoll).

Irving has custody of Billy because the kid’s mother is heading back to jail on a drug charge, and the duo are traveling to North Carolina so the boy can be reunited with his deadbeat father. They hit the road in Irving’s vintage Lincoln, with the dead grandma in the trunk.

Right from the start, the precocious Billy proves adept at improvising shock-inducing lines, such as telling strangers in a waiting room that his mother’s bad breath is from smoking too much crack.

Actually, Nicoll’s Billy is a natural at pulling pranks, a sort of Johnny Knoxville mini-me, but at times even more mischievous and adroit at teasing the adults with his sly, playful demeanor.

As Billy and Irving get to know each other better, a tender bond develops, though mostly they put their minds together to wreak the maximum amount of havoc and surprise upon their prank victims.

More often than not, those on the receiving end prove to be warily receptive, even accommodating to their bizarre behavior. Things don’t go as smoothly when Irving knocks over a restaurant’s large plastic penguin while trying to park his car, incurring the owner’s verbal wrath.

Now widowed, Irving’s libido is in overdrive, and he’s mildly provocative in his attempts to pick up women of all ages, sizes and appearances. Otherwise, he’s pretending to endanger Billy, such as when they sit drinking from beer cans at a picnic table in front of many passersby.

One of the more outrageous antics involve Irving trying to pick up black ladies at a male strip joint, where he decides to join the action on the dance floor, much to the horror of the patrons. I’ll leave out the part about the exposure of certain body parts.

Fans of the “Jackass” franchise will likely be thrilled. Others should be cautioned that there is plenty of low-brow humor and the usual scatological gags that may be off-putting.

Overall, taking away some of the more vulgar set-pieces, “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” offers plenty of laughs and is considerably less offensive and degrading than Sasha Baron Cohen’s antics in “Borat.”

If you enjoy the film, don’t make a mad dash for the exits during the credit roll. You don’t want to miss the behind-the-scenes outtakes and discover that many who fell for the pranks were good-natured.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

LAKE COUNTY, Calif. – Jeanne Landon-Myers of the Konocti Art Society presented two local beneficiaries with raffle proceeds from saw blade art created by local artists society.

Three hundred dollars was presented to Connel Murray, representing Clear Lake Performing Arts and Lake County Symphony for the Student Education Music Program, and to Barbara Funke representing the Lake County Arts Council for the Summer Youth Art Camp.

These funds help with the arts council's summer art classes and music classes at the Lake County Symphony, both serving local youth.

Each year the Konocti Art Society donates the raffle money earned from its art show in the WestAmerica Bank at the Kelseyville Pear Festival to local organizations.

LAKEPORT, Calif. – On Friday, Nov. 8, the Old World Tavern in Lakeport presents the Dorian May Piano Trio with special guests vocalist Reni Simon and Lake County tenor sax-man Jim Leonardis, performing an eclectic mix of jazz, blues, swing and Latin tunes.

Dorian May, premier local bandleader, teacher and keyboard artist, his wife Dorothea May on upright bass and Tom Rickard on drums form the area’s top up and coming Jazz trio.

Playing in a classic jazz piano trio style reminiscent of Oscar Peterson, the trio can be heard performing throughout Mendocino and Sonoma County.

Renowned vocalist and recording artist Reni Simon is joining the trio for this performance.

Having performed and recorded with some of the best in the business, including the Elvin Bishop Band and Roy Orbison, Simon’s bluesy and expressive vocal styling is sure to captivate the audience.

Local tenor artist Jim Leonardis who has over 50 years of experience on his sax completes the lineup for this evening.

Seating is limited so come early and stay late.

There is no cover charge. The music begins at 8 p.m.

The Old World Tavern is located at 175 N. Main St. in Lakeport, telephone 707-263-7777.

CLEARLAKE, Calif. – The Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce will hold its 70th Birthday Party Celebration and Fundraiser beginning at 5:30 p.m. Friday, Nov. 1.

The event will take place at the Clearlake Community/Senior Center, 3245 Bowers Ave.

The highlight of the event will be a performance by comedian Joe Klocek.

Klocek's crowd involving hilarious storytelling has earned him a great list of comedic accomplishments including appearing on Comedy Central’s, “Live at Gotham” NBC's “Last Comic Standing,” commentator for the Emmy Award-winning documentary “A Bridge so Far” and co-creator of the critically acclaimed storytelling show, “Previously Secret Information.”

He also has been a runner-up in the “San Francisco International Comedy Competition” and the “Seattle Comedy Competition,” and voted “Best Comic” in the 2011 SF Weekly Readers Poll.

The night also will feature a special presentation honoring the past CLCC presidents and officers.

Dance music and other entertainment will be provided by Tony Barthel of the Featherbed Railroad.

The no-host bar will include local wines from Steele Wines, Moore Family Winery, Six Sigma Ranch and Winery, Casey Flat Ranch, Cougar’s Leap Winery, Laujor Estate Winery and Brassfield Estates.

Tickets are $30 per person and include a gourmet steak and chicken dinner with dessert. Tickets can be purchased by calling 707-994-3600, going to www.facebook.com/ClearLakeChamber or emailing www.clcccontactgmail.com . A limited number of tickets will be available at the door.

The Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce is a membership organization dedicated to developing, promoting, and serving your business and community.

Its goal is to sustain a unique and high quality of life by achieving economic vitality, with sensitivity and respect for the environment as we foster economic opportunity and a favorable business climate within the region.

I open every spring with a garden more precisely laid out and cared for than the year before, and by the end of summer it’s collapsed into a tangle of weeds, bugs and disorder.

Here’s Gabriel Welsch, a poet from Pennsylvania, carrying a similar experience right into winter.

A Garden’s End

Forsythia, scaled and bud-bangled,
I pruned to a thatch of leaves
for the curb, by the squirrel-gnawed
corn, silk strewn, kernels tooth carved
and husks shorn over the ground
pocked with paw prints.

The borers mashed the squash vine,
the drought tugged the roots of sage,
catmint languished by the sidewalk,
tools grew flowers of rust.

That winter we left our hope
beneath the snow, loved through the last
of the onions, watched the late leeks freeze
to crystal, bent like sedges, their shadows
on the snow. That winter we left
our hope beneath the snow.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation ( www.poetryfoundation.org ), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright 2012 by Gabriel Welsch from his most recent book of poems, The Death of Flying Things, WordTech Editions, 2012. Poem reprinted by permission of Gabriel Welsch and the publisher. Introduction copyright 2013 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

If you are not getting enough of “Masterpiece” or the running of old episodes of “Downton Abbey” on PBS, then the Starz cable channel has a special treat in the five-episode series “Dancing on the Edge.”

Understandably, Starz is hopefully filling the gap while fans of British period costume dramas await the fourth season of “Downton Abbey,” scheduled to start in January 2014.

Adjusting to a competitive cable marketplace, Starz is just now concluding its series run of “The White Queen,” a British television drama about royal palace intrigue set against the backdrop of the War of the Roses.

Unfortunately, Starz discovered that interesting dramas like “Boss” and “Magic City,” both series set uniquely on the American stage, one involving raw politics and the other the glitter of Miami Beach, didn’t have staying power.

“Dancing on the Edge” may not be a tip of the scales to an Anglophile programming trend at Starz, but there is undeniable appeal to many of the British imports that are now thriving on American television.

Loosely inspired by the true accounts of the iconic Duke Ellington Band mingling with royalty in Europe during the Great Depression, “Dancing on the Edge” is entirely fictional but no less compelling than the obvious societal challenges faced by black jazz musicians during that era.

British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Louis Lester, who starts his own band and dreams of introducing American jazz music to the United Kingdom during the early 1930’s. He’s almost immediately befriended by ambitious journalist Stanley Mitchell (Matthew Goode).

Writing for Music Express magazine, Stanley has an eye for talent. He discovers and becomes enamored with the Louis Lester Band while they are performing in a basement jazz club that apparently caters to more bohemian tastes.

Stanley immediately signs them to headline at the illustrious Imperial Hotel. At first, the hotel’s older, elite audience is hostile or indifferent to the band, owing to racial prejudice and the lack of familiarity with jazz music.

But the younger crowd of aristocrats is enchanted by this new music and invites the members to play at a garden party, where Prince George, the Duke of Kent, is in awe of the private performance, taking notice of the lead singer Jessie (Angel Coulby).

Writer and director Stephen Poliakoff is no stranger to period drama. He penned a note to critics in which he revealed that during research for his drama “The Lost Prince” he discovered that Prince George’s passion of jazz music was absolutely genuine.

Poliakoff learned that Prince George patrolled the clubs of London with his eldest brother David, the Prince of Wales, to explore the music of different bands, and the two princes mixed with the musicians and invited some of them into their homes.

Again, the Louis Lester Band’s interaction with royalty is entirely fictional, but there is little doubt that visiting American musicians like Duke Ellington and Louis Armstrong were given an enthusiastic welcome in London.

Still, against the backdrop of the worldwide financial meltdown of 1929, Britain endured an enormous gulf between rich and poor, and society was torn by racism and prejudice, especially among the aristocracy and the ruling class.

Yet, at the same time, certain black musicians were blending with high society, playing at their parties and even having love affairs with them. The latter is the case when Louis meets attractive society photographer Sarah (Janet Montgomery).

Not only royalty pays attention to the band, the mysterious American mogul Masterson (John Goodman), who loves jazz and resides at the Imperial, senses popular culture and journalism about to explode and he becomes obsessed with potential lucrative opportunities.

Meanwhile, the eccentric aristocrat Lady Cremone (Jacqueline Bisset) known for discovering unknown talent is persuaded by Stanley to become a key player in propelling the career of the Louis Lester Band.

“Dancing on the Edge” is ambitious for the number of stories that are told. It’s about more than the rise of a popular musical genre. Race and class issues run deep throughout.

England in the 1930s was a time when certain musicians could find themselves one week on the verge of being deported and the very next week fraternizing with the ruling elite at a great country home.

Sudden success and the acclaim of London society are heady experiences for the Louis Lester Band. Just at the height of their fame, one terrible event overtakes them and they get to discover which members of their elite fan club are truly genuine in their support.

“Dancing on the Edge,” beautifully evoking the 1930s, is entertaining on many levels, including the mystery element that should remain a surprise. Of course, the music is excellent, making for a terrific soundtrack.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.