LAKE COUNTY, Calif. – “No one wants to talk about death over dinner, at a football game or at a party,” said Laisne Hamilton, Lakeport resident and Death Café facilitator. “However, sometimes people want to talk about the taboo topic, and when that happens there may not be someone to listen.”

“Death cafés,” a trend that started in England, are spreading across the United States in an effort to normalize the discussion about death, helping people relax with the topic and make the most of their lives.

Two death cafes have been running in Lake County, facilitated by community members MJ McNulty, Hamilton, Henny Nouwen and Robert Rothemich.

Groups are open to community members and are being held on the first Wednesday of the month at the Lower Lake United Methodist Church, 16255 Second Ave., Lower Lake, and on the third Wednesday of each month at the Riviera Common Grounds Coffee House, 9730 Soda Bay Road, Kelseyville.

Both groups meet from 4 to 5:30 p.m. There is no charge for attendance.

Each café is different, said Rothemich, “and talk can center on advance directive planning, funeral planning or philosophical insights.”

Gatherings are not morbid; they typically draw people from all walks of life who want to talk about death to live life more fully. Groups are not intended to be support groups; they are more about self-exploration.

The gatherings are about taking death out of the closet.

Doctors and scholars who study attitudes toward death say that for most people, such conversations are healthy; talking about death can ease people’s fears and the notion that death is taboo.

“A major part of American society is very averse to thinking about dying,” said David Barnard, a professor of ethics at the Oregon Health and Science University who has written extensively about the end of life.

Local facilitators of each café have a depth of experience in the arena of death and dying including clinical work with Hospice agencies, serving as death midwives and offering bereavement counseling.

For more information, call 707-279-8512 or 707-889-0751, or visit www.deathcafe.com.

Janine Smith Citron is director of development for Hospice Services of Lake County.