Opinion
A couple is being married today.
The young man is dressed in a tuxedo, the first time he has ever worn anything like that. It itches and makes him uncomfortable, but all that is immaterial because today his life will change forever (or so he thinks) – and he promises in front of his Lord and Savior to love, honor, cherish his wife to be so help him God.
He hears the music and turns ... down the aisle walks his bride ... beauty like nothing he has ever seen. Her father is at her side and they walk slowly towards him. As they reach the alter, her father gracefully puts her hand in his.
It is her day and she has never been happier ... today she will promise to love, honor, and maybe even obey, so help her God.
As the service ends and the two are now one, they walk out the door to a new life. The clock ticks and five years go by.
For all the marriages that took place that day five years ago, five out of 10 will have already ended in divorce.
It probably doesn’t surprise you that the United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. We live in a country where the word cherish and obey often mean nothing.
You know there will be problems before a marriage is even consummated because the most avoided phrase in wedding ceremonies today are the words, “Love, honor and obey.” The love and honor are still OK, but obey – no way!
Until couples understand how significant that phrase is, the chances are that the marriage will have problems.
Paul writes in Ephesians 5:22ff, “Give thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
And then he says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord … Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
The problem comes up in marriage vows with this passage because of the words, “obey” and “submit.” Those words do not fair well in a society where equality between male and female remains paramount. No way is he going to be the boss!
So, we drop the word obey from the marriage ceremony. What a shame since what these words mean has nothing to do with either the man or woman being the boss.
If people would take a moment and understand what is being said, they would realize that it is in our best interests to follow the instruction.
In the case of the wedding vows, the term “obey” means that the man is responsible for the spiritual health of the family and must make certain the wife and children are not only instructed in Scripture, following the teaching of Jesus, but it also means that the dad is the one who should be taking, not sending, his family to church, and that they all have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
He is the one who has to say, worship on Sunday is more important that football, or soccer or baseball, or all the other distractions that will prevent the appropriate rearing of a child and family unity in Christ.
Take out the word obey from the wedding vows and you take his responsibility with it and guess what happens? The statistics say everything that needs to be said.
We’ll talk about this more at First Lutheran Church of Lucerne on Sunday, Aug. 26.
Worship is at 11 a.m. with a time of fellowship and lunch immediately following the service.
This week is country Gospel Sunday so please bring your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and any one else you can think of.
All are welcome so come as you are!
Chris DelCol is pastor of First Lutheran Church in Lucerne, Calif. The church is located at 3863 Country Club Drive, telephone 707-274-5572. Email Pastor Chris atThis email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
The young man is dressed in a tuxedo, the first time he has ever worn anything like that. It itches and makes him uncomfortable, but all that is immaterial because today his life will change forever (or so he thinks) – and he promises in front of his Lord and Savior to love, honor, cherish his wife to be so help him God.
He hears the music and turns ... down the aisle walks his bride ... beauty like nothing he has ever seen. Her father is at her side and they walk slowly towards him. As they reach the alter, her father gracefully puts her hand in his.
It is her day and she has never been happier ... today she will promise to love, honor, and maybe even obey, so help her God.
As the service ends and the two are now one, they walk out the door to a new life. The clock ticks and five years go by.
For all the marriages that took place that day five years ago, five out of 10 will have already ended in divorce.
It probably doesn’t surprise you that the United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. We live in a country where the word cherish and obey often mean nothing.
You know there will be problems before a marriage is even consummated because the most avoided phrase in wedding ceremonies today are the words, “Love, honor and obey.” The love and honor are still OK, but obey – no way!
Until couples understand how significant that phrase is, the chances are that the marriage will have problems.
Paul writes in Ephesians 5:22ff, “Give thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
And then he says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord … Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
The problem comes up in marriage vows with this passage because of the words, “obey” and “submit.” Those words do not fair well in a society where equality between male and female remains paramount. No way is he going to be the boss!
So, we drop the word obey from the marriage ceremony. What a shame since what these words mean has nothing to do with either the man or woman being the boss.
If people would take a moment and understand what is being said, they would realize that it is in our best interests to follow the instruction.
In the case of the wedding vows, the term “obey” means that the man is responsible for the spiritual health of the family and must make certain the wife and children are not only instructed in Scripture, following the teaching of Jesus, but it also means that the dad is the one who should be taking, not sending, his family to church, and that they all have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
He is the one who has to say, worship on Sunday is more important that football, or soccer or baseball, or all the other distractions that will prevent the appropriate rearing of a child and family unity in Christ.
Take out the word obey from the wedding vows and you take his responsibility with it and guess what happens? The statistics say everything that needs to be said.
We’ll talk about this more at First Lutheran Church of Lucerne on Sunday, Aug. 26.
Worship is at 11 a.m. with a time of fellowship and lunch immediately following the service.
This week is country Gospel Sunday so please bring your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and any one else you can think of.
All are welcome so come as you are!
Chris DelCol is pastor of First Lutheran Church in Lucerne, Calif. The church is located at 3863 Country Club Drive, telephone 707-274-5572. Email Pastor Chris at
- Details
- Written by: Pastor Chris DelCol
A number of years ago, while I was on vacation in Canada, I was introduced to my mother’s cat.
Mean is not a strong enough word for this feline version of Satan. Sharp teeth, long claws and an attitude of proportions that are too large to describe.
The one thing about this cat is how enormous it is. She looks like a black and white basketball with legs. This cat will eat constantly if you let her. It walks between your feet, follows you everywhere, and won’t let up unless you feed it.
It is so bad, my mom had to keep all food products out of this cat’s reach or the cat would eat it. And I mean anything. Bread, fruits, vegetables, meat, cheese, literally anything. The cat is so big, it can’t even lay on its side like a normal cat would. It has to rock itself from side to side until gravity allows it to fall onto one side or the other. And when she finally falls over on one side she rolls completely around. And watching her get up is really sad.
I asked my mom why this cat eats so much and she told me that when the cat was born, it had been abandoned by its mother and had almost starved to death. Once the kitten was found, it was fed and never stopped eating.
Psychologically, the cat lives in constant fear of being hungry and will literally eat itself to death if given the opportunity. She will never escape the trauma of almost dying from starvation.
The same can be the case with humans. There is a story of a group of orphans in World War II who were discovered after the US began liberating Europe. They were skin and bones … hadn’t eaten anything of substance for who knows how long.
The Americans fed the children and they were put in an orphanage, but even though they were well fed and recovered from their lack of food, they never could get over being hungry. They could not sleep at night in fear of going hungry the next day.
Finally, in order to get these kids to sleep, they were given a piece of bread and were allowed to take it bed with them but told not to eat it. The mere presence of the next day’s bread in their hands allowed them to sleep in peace.
So, the question we have to answer is this: Can we live a normal life, one free of the fear of starvation of all the aspects of life if we live it without the Living Bread of Life? Can we live in spiritual fullness, without the presence of Jesus in our lives? Is our faith strong enough to believe that Christ’s body and blood are the foundation of His spiritual presence in our lives when we come to the communion table?
In our situation with this current fire disaster, we must address both the physical and spiritual meaning of the Bread of Life. Physical food for the hungry and the spiritual food in Holy Communion.
Both are offered this Sunday at First Lutheran Church as we distribute much needed supplies in our food cupboard and celebrate the Sacrament of Holy Communion in our worship service.
Please join us to hear more about the Bread of Life. Worship begins at 11 a.m. followed by lunch for all, and then our monthly food cupboard.
Chris DelCol is pastor of First Lutheran Church in Lucerne, Calif. The church is located at 3863 Country Club Drive, telephone 707-274-5572. Email Pastor Chris atThis email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
Mean is not a strong enough word for this feline version of Satan. Sharp teeth, long claws and an attitude of proportions that are too large to describe.
The one thing about this cat is how enormous it is. She looks like a black and white basketball with legs. This cat will eat constantly if you let her. It walks between your feet, follows you everywhere, and won’t let up unless you feed it.
It is so bad, my mom had to keep all food products out of this cat’s reach or the cat would eat it. And I mean anything. Bread, fruits, vegetables, meat, cheese, literally anything. The cat is so big, it can’t even lay on its side like a normal cat would. It has to rock itself from side to side until gravity allows it to fall onto one side or the other. And when she finally falls over on one side she rolls completely around. And watching her get up is really sad.
I asked my mom why this cat eats so much and she told me that when the cat was born, it had been abandoned by its mother and had almost starved to death. Once the kitten was found, it was fed and never stopped eating.
Psychologically, the cat lives in constant fear of being hungry and will literally eat itself to death if given the opportunity. She will never escape the trauma of almost dying from starvation.
The same can be the case with humans. There is a story of a group of orphans in World War II who were discovered after the US began liberating Europe. They were skin and bones … hadn’t eaten anything of substance for who knows how long.
The Americans fed the children and they were put in an orphanage, but even though they were well fed and recovered from their lack of food, they never could get over being hungry. They could not sleep at night in fear of going hungry the next day.
Finally, in order to get these kids to sleep, they were given a piece of bread and were allowed to take it bed with them but told not to eat it. The mere presence of the next day’s bread in their hands allowed them to sleep in peace.
So, the question we have to answer is this: Can we live a normal life, one free of the fear of starvation of all the aspects of life if we live it without the Living Bread of Life? Can we live in spiritual fullness, without the presence of Jesus in our lives? Is our faith strong enough to believe that Christ’s body and blood are the foundation of His spiritual presence in our lives when we come to the communion table?
In our situation with this current fire disaster, we must address both the physical and spiritual meaning of the Bread of Life. Physical food for the hungry and the spiritual food in Holy Communion.
Both are offered this Sunday at First Lutheran Church as we distribute much needed supplies in our food cupboard and celebrate the Sacrament of Holy Communion in our worship service.
Please join us to hear more about the Bread of Life. Worship begins at 11 a.m. followed by lunch for all, and then our monthly food cupboard.
Chris DelCol is pastor of First Lutheran Church in Lucerne, Calif. The church is located at 3863 Country Club Drive, telephone 707-274-5572. Email Pastor Chris at
- Details
- Written by: Chris DelCol
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