Opinion
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- Written by: Gail Salituri
Each year at this time I receive phone calls and emails inquiring about the unsolved murder of Barbara LaForge.
Sorting through gallery inventory recently led me to unwrap an unfamiliar box. Carefully placed inside this cardboard box was a beautifully framed memento which belonged to Barbara LaForge.
Never forgetting how proud she was of her whippet show dog, Carmen, a flood of emotions ran through me. That's because Carmen was the only eyewitness to Barbara's murder, which occurred on Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2002.
My mind immediately flashed back to the dreadful day 11 years ago when I learned my friend was murdered in our place of business.
I gazed upon the picture showing Carmen's first blue ribbon. Barbara, who was so proud of the win, was standing with the judge. There were various articles depicting this very happy time in Barbara's life so beautifully placed in this shadow box.
The questions I had suppressed once again filled my thoughts from so many years ago.
I found myself staring at Barbara's photo, uttering under my own breath, “Barbara, what happened to you? Who did this to you? Why?”
I had to ask, because I don't know who did it, or why.
Never forgetting that fall morning – but sometimes wanting to erase it all from my mind – memories flooded my mind.
They included the phone call I received from Mike Stafford, a business owner next door who found her lifeless body after my phone calls to locate her failed.
It was shocking, something no human could ever forget – that call that no one ever wants to receive.
The very distressed and shaking voice repeating over and over, “I think she's dead,” was the beginning of a nightmare that has haunted me, her family, friends and community for all too many years.
Unsolved murders are not easy. They are troublesome; dealing with them can take bites out of your life that can never be regained.
The not knowing is the worst; the bewilderment leaves you in a place called limbo. It's a place you cannot breath in, a place that swallows you up.
Life changes. You look at everyone, every possibility and every probability in a different light.
Murder has its own deeper level of denial and shock. The event is unbelievable, unexpected, tragic and a crime, all at once.
The fear and anger you experience and the psychological effects can take years to work through. But I discovered that sometimes anger is not a bad thing as it allowed me to persevere.
It has helped me to move forward and to create a memorial fund in Barbara's memory. And it also has helped me as I seek to heal.
Today I can say that the path I traveled led me to help victims of domestic violence by raising awareness and also money for the Freedom House domestic violence shelter in Kelseyville.
Although I do not believe Barbara was a victim of domestic violence, she was a victim of the ultimate violence – murder.
Lake Family Resource Center was named “Charity of Choice” by the Corvettes of Lake County for several years now, donating $9,000 in Barbara LaForge's memory.
These generous donations assisted in building rooms, a play yard for children, gutters for the shelter building and helping keep the Rape Crisis Center stable.
Artwork from my gallery was raffled and Wine and Chocolate art auctions brought the total to $14,500. And that's became my recipe for making sweet lemonade out of a tragic event.
My hopes sometimes fade for a conclusion to this cold case, yet discouragement or weariness will not dictate silence or forgetfulness.
I have been assured that the Lakeport Police detective assigned to investigate the murder is continuing his work to bring this case to a conclusion, and I believe this case will one day be solved.
That glimmer of hope sustains me through the passing years and I hope all who knew Barbara will continue to pray for a resolution and never forget Barbara's warmth and love for others.
Gail Salituri formerly owned the Inspirations Gallery, which shared space with Barbara LaForge's Wildwood Frame Shop in downtown Lakeport. She lives in Kelseyville, Calif.
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- Written by: Congressman Mike Thompson
Today a needless and reckless government shutdown continues. There is no reason for us to be in this situation.
Our government is closed because 40 or so radical Tea Party Republicans refuse to vote for any funding bill that doesn’t delay or defund the Affordable Care Act.
This is a fight they’ve lost nearly 50 times in Congress, in a national election and in the United States Supreme Court.
Keeping the government shut down because Democrats want to make sure people can buy affordable health insurance is a thoughtless disregard for responsible governance and the people we serve.
Democrats have compromised. I agreed to support funding measure that included $72 billion in annualized across the board spending cuts to keep the government open.
The Senate passed this legislation multiple times before the government closed, but this wasn’t enough for the Tea Party wing of the House Majority – for them to vote for any measure the Affordable Care Act had to be defunded or delayed.
Their refusal to compromise is hurting our economy and country. It’s putting 800,000 federal employees out of work and delaying paychecks for two million more, cutting off food-safety operations and infectious disease surveillance, stopping important medical research, halting the disbursement of new small business loans, and costing the tax payers $150 million a day.
Now the House Majority is trying to pass piecemeal funding measures to fund things like our national parks and the Department of Veterans Affairs. These bills are nothing more than cynical political ploys designed to lessen the outrage the House Majority is facing for shutting down the government.
By passing these piecemeal measures, the House Majority is choosing which people the government works for and which people it ignores. That’s not the way government works. It’s irresponsible. And while it might be good for politics it’s terrible for our country.
The right thing to do for our nation would be to pass the Senate’s compromise government funding legislation that protects health care reform and reduces spending.
I stand ready to support such a bill. Democrats stand ready to support such a bill. And many responsible members of the Republican Party in the House stand ready to pass such a bill. If it was put on the floor of the House today it would be passed and our government would be open tomorrow.
It’s important for everyone in our nation that the institution of representative government works. Right now this important institution is being held hostage by a small fraction of extremists in the House Majority who are obsessed with sabotaging health care reform.
It’s time for the House Majority to put the interests of our nation ahead of the interest of the Tea Party, pass the Senate’s compromise bill, and reopen our government.
Congressman Mike Thompson is proud to represent California’s 5th Congressional District, which includes all or part of Contra Costa, Lake, Napa, Solano and Sonoma counties. He is a senior member of the House Ways and Means Committee and the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. Rep. Thompson is also a member of the fiscally conservative Blue Dog Coalition and chairs the bipartisan, bicameral Congressional Wine Caucus.
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- Written by: J. Holden
In the tradition of C.S. Lewis and Joan Didion comes another gifted writer chronicling the aftermath of the death of the beloved.
“There is a knock at the door,” she begins.
A policeman. After nine months of marriage the soulmate it took her a lifetime to find is suddenly no more. “Oh my god, oh my god.”
In “The Hardest Thing I’ll Ever Do,” Linda Guebert touches us where it hurts, exquisitely capturing the moody tides of agonizing despair and senseless hope that follow the tragedy of love lost. And who among us has not loved and lost, one way or another?
Subtitled “A Journey of Sorrow, Healing & Hope,” this stirring memoir leads us down the dead ends of denial and magical thinking; through mortuaries and memorials, old photos and the death of dreams; into the bottomless abyss of sleepless nights and wretched days; and through the labyrinth of wine, valium, bereavement groups, self-help books, massage, anti-depressants and psychotherapy – only to discover the greater healing power of friends, family, humor and kittens.
And time. Those sweet healing hands of time …
Guebert weaves this collection of deepest thoughts and feelings with pointed narratives, uncensored journal entries, the wise words of other bereaved souls, irony and humor (yes, humor), and poignant song lyrics heading each chapter.
The writing is well-crafted, well-paced and engaging – one minute searching out the meanings of life and death, the next minute raging against the ungodly unfairness of life and death, the next minute broken and sobbing on the floor.
The author gives clear and personal voice to the subtleties and complexities of a broken heart and spirit, and the long, slow process of rising from the ashes.
She guides us step-by-lonely-step through the seemingly endless purgatory of pain-filled holidays and anniversaries, leading slowly but inexorably to the resurrection of life, love and hope.
Forcing herself to stay involved with her community radio program, her teaching, her writing and the theater she loves, we watch as Guebert evolves to the bittersweet realization that she isn’t ready to die yet whether she wants to or not. That she longs to love again, someday.
And in time, one day the horror movie is over – but never the love – and a new chapter, a new storyline, begins.
Guebert’s odyssey serves as an important reminder to us that there is a gift in the heart of a wound, that the darkest hour is just before dawn, and that life goes on, carrying us along in its mysterious currents into the unknown future.
Many readers have said they “couldn’t put it down.” I read it in two sittings.
Buy this book, available at Watershed Books in Lakeport, at any Lake County library branch, or online at www.amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com . Take it to bed with a cup of hot cocoa, and be touched heart and soul.
“The Hardest Thing I’ll Ever Do: A Journey of Sorrow, Healing & Hope,” 2013 by Linda Guebert, paperback $19.99.
Dr. J. Holden, Ph.D., is a psychologist.
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- Written by: Todd Dunia
As our society has changed, so have the technologies we all use everyday. Our children don’t know life without today’s technology. As we use today’s technology to enhance and improve our lives today, we must also be wary of the dangers.
Many children use the Internet and social media as their new playground. Some people spend more time online than any other activity in their life.
Although many people feel their children are safe because they are in the home and away from the dangers of the outside world, they are not. The Internet has allowed people who prey on children into your house through the Internet.
I admit having the ability to contact your children by cell phone is an incredible convenience. I am not against today’s technology, but I am concerned how this technology is used to put our children in harm's way.
As many of our children’s cell phones these days also have access to the Internet, the threat is with them much of the day. Most teenagers would consider their cell phone as there most important possession as it gives them freedom.
The Internet is full of predators. More than just people who are after your Social Security number and bank account information, the Internet is a tool used by people who want to prey on your children. Predators on the Internet are sophisticated and dangerous and many of them target your children.
It is very important for parents to talk to their children about the Internet. The Internet is an incredible learning tool and when used properly can enhance your children’s education. And yes, you need to be able to trust your children, but they must be well educated about the dangers of the Internet and social media. Just like children have been taught about stranger danger, there are many strangers online.
Some information your children post on social media Web sites like Facebook seem innocent, but do you really know who is looking at this information?
There is also a trend on social media sites being called “cyber bullying.” In these cases comments can be made which are hurtful or harassing and the problem escalates. This is a real problem which has been documented in recent national headlines where some teenagers have committed suicide over postings on social media.
There are also numerous documented cases in this country where children were communicating through the Internet with predators. Generally these predators misrepresented themselves as children and had friendships or relationships with these children. Some of these children later met with these strangers, resulting in some of them being sexually assaulted or murdered by theses predators.
Each household with children needs to discuss the dangers of the Internet. I have researched numerous Web sites that discuss this growing danger of the Internet and found www.Netsmartz.org does a very good job at educating both parents and children about these dangers. This Web site is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) and I urge parents to go to the Web site and spend some time reviewing the information with their child.
The following are a few ideas from the Netsmartz Web site to assist you in keeping your children safe of the Internet.
Children use a variety of online services, and each of these services can have different safety concerns. However, there are some basic tips which you can employ no matter how your children use the Internet.
- Keep the computer in a high-traffic area of your home.
- Establish limits for which online sites children may visit and for how long.
- Remember that Internet technology can be mobile, so make sure to monitor cell phones, gaming devices and laptops.
- Surf the Internet with your children and let them show you what they like to do online.
- Know who is connecting with your children online and set rules for social networking, instant messaging, e-mailing, online gaming, and using webcams.
- Continually dialogue with your children about online safety.
Start a discussion with your child:
- What are your favorite things to do online?
- What is personal information? Why should you keep it private?
- What could you do to be safer online?
- What would you do if anyone online asked to meet you face-to-face?
- Besides me, who do you feel that you can talk to if you are in a scary or uncomfortable situation?
My hope is to keep all children safe. If you suspect a child has been victimized, contact your local jurisdiction and report it:
- Lake County Sheriff’s Office – 707-263-2690;
- Lakeport Police Department – 707-263-5491;
- Clearlake Police Department – 707-994-8251;
- NCMEC Cyber Tip Line – 1-800-843-5678.
Det. Todd Dunia works for the Lake County Sheriff’s Office, based in Lakeport, Calif.
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