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Arts & Life
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- Written by: Tim Riley
ZOOLANDER 2 (Rated PG-13)
Sequels typically surface long before fifteen years lapse, but more important than that is the question of what merits revisiting the vapidity of the fashion world after the original “Zoolander” opened in 2001 to less than stellar box-office performance.
What changes the dynamics for “Zoolander 2” is that its source material found new life as a cult favorite on DVD release, achieving success that had eluded Ben Stiller’s satire of haute couture during its run at the multiplex.
The story of “Zoolander 2” has the slim weight and substance of a supermodel’s biggest meal of the day, which is another way of saying there’s not much there.
But that matters little for the reunion of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as the fashion world’s most supreme dimwits.
As the story unfolds in the beginning, Stiller’s Derek Zoolander has retreated to a cabin in the snowy mountainous region of Extreme Northern New Jersey, having become a “hermit crab” after the tragic collapse of his Manhattan center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.
Due to faulty construction and truly inept planning, Derek’s learning center fell into the Hudson River, causing the death of his wife (Christine Taylor), who reappears at times as a ghostly vision.
Meanwhile, Owen Wilson’s Hansel, hiding behind a mask for a minor facial injury, holds forth in the desert-like sand dunes of Malibu in a commune where his roving orgy includes a weird bunch of participants, including Kiefer Sutherland and others who look like circus performers.
Billy Zane appears at Derek’s mountain hideaway and delivers an invitation from the Donatella Versace-like fashionista named Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig, unrecognizable with bloated face and outlandish clothes only worn on runways) to come to a fashion show in Rome.
This allows for the idiotic Derek, the preening male model dumber than a bag of rocks, to team up once again with his off-and-on friend and fashion rival Hansel, who appears to be only marginally smarter, and that’s not saying much.
These two dim-bulbs could use a few smarts, and then they may have been wise to Alexanya’s scheme to mock the has-been models during a glitzy runway show.
Even more humiliating is how they are treated by her designer, an annoying hipster named Don Atari (Kyle Mooney), who is nevertheless a source of amusement.
Somewhere in the mix is a plot to assassinate pop stars and celebrities. Justin Bieber is just the latest victim, but his death is spectacularly staged when he is machine-gunned by a motorcyclist and still manages to take a few selfies during his last gasp.
Interpol detective Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz), assigned to the Fashion Crimes Division, has the task of solving the mystery of evil forces seeking to wipe out the beautiful and famous superstars, and for reasons hard to fathom, she recruits Derek and Hansel to help out.
Operating on the thin plot of fashion world follies, Derek and Hansel encounter the androgynous male model called “All” (Benedict Cumberbatch), who barely conceals his contempt for the duo, and cues his exit from any encounter with the pitchy catchphrase “All is done.”
Given his dubious sexuality, All plays the transgender role as if cosmetic surgery had so extremely botched his face that he’d be mistaken for a blemished female impersonator.
But All may be mono-sexual after all, as he announces that he has married himself, considering that particular marital status is now legal in Italy.
Another subplot involves Derek’s son (Cyrus Arnold), who was taken long ago by child services when the fashion model was deemed to be an unfit parent after the death of the child’s mother during the horrific collapse of the learning center.
As luck would have it, Derek Junior is resolutely chubby and uninterested in his father’s profession. But Derek Junior is the fixation for nefarious forces that believe he’s the Chosen One, and that his blood would tap into the Fountain of Youth during a ritual sacrifice.
Deep into the story, Derek visits the Fashion Prison to confront the evil Mugatu (Will Ferrell), who much like Hannibal Lecter gets the better of Derek and manages to break out of his confinement and return to the fashion underground.
“Zoolander 2” comes down to climactic showdown of evil machinations in a ritual ceremony where real-life fashion icons such as Marc Jacobs, Tommy Hilfiger, Anna Wintour, and Kate Moss allow themselves to be spoofed in a sinister sideshow.
When first meeting Valentina, Hansel remarks: “She’s hot. I trust her.” It’s one of his best lines. Sadly, the same sentiment can’t be expressed for “Zoolander 2,” as the hotness factor doesn’t apply to the film itself.
The disappointment of the “Zoolander” sequel is palpable in spite of the funny moments when Stiller and Wilson do their best to utter idiotic dialogue. Yet, moronic witticisms, as fun as they are, can only go so far.
Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.
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- Written by: Editor
LAKE COUNTY, Calif. – The Lake Country Grand Jury invites Lake County young people ages 6 to 18 to submit their original artwork for inclusion in the 2015-16 grand jury report.
The grand jury publishes a written report every summer which is distributed to all departments in the county government and to the state archivist.
The artwork should express one or more of the following themes:
– The natural beauty of Lake County;
– Unique Lake County culture;
– Rebirth and renewal.
To participate, submit a photo or a good copy of the original art that is packaged safely so it does not bend. Please do not submit original art work as they will not be able to return it.
Label the package “Grand jury artwork” and send it via the US Postal Service to Lake County Grand Jury, P.O. Box 1078, Kelseyville, 95451.
Digital files of the artwork – in JPG or PDF formats – also may be submitted to the grand jury at
All entries – whether hard copy or digital – must include the artist’s name, age, address, email address and phone number.
The deadline for entering is March 30.
If your artwork is chosen, the grand jury will contact you for further information.
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- Written by: Editor
LAKEPORT, Calif. – A diverse range of musical styles on the keyboard will be presented at the Soper Reese Theatre on Sunday, March 6, by eight well-known pianists from the region.
Musicians will combine their talent and years of experience to benefit fundraising efforts for the arts and education in Lake County.
The Lake County Friends of Mendocino College is partnering with the Soper Reese Theatre to sponsor the fifth annual Benefit Pianists Concert. The afternoon begins at 2 p.m. with a no-host reception featuring fine Lake County wines, followed by the concert at 3 p.m.
Raffle tickets for baskets of Lake County products donated by businesses and individuals will be sold during the reception and intermission.
Lake County artists Tom Aiken, Tom Ganoung, Paul Kemp, and David Neft will be joined by performers Spencer Brewer, Elena Casanova, Elizabeth MacDougall and Ed Reinhart from Mendocino County.
The concert will feature all the pianists on stage throughout the performance as they converse about their life experiences and play a variety of musical selections.
Tickets are $25 for regular reserved and $30 for premium reserved, and may be purchased at the theater box office on Fridays from 10:30 to 5:30 or online at www.soperreesetheatre.com .
Tickets also are available at the Travel Center, 1265 S. Main St. in Lakeport, Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
“The Lake County Friends, an affiliate of the Mendocino College Foundation, was created to benefit students and programs at the Lake Center. We are delighted that proceeds from this benefit concert will enable us to continue support for the first Chemistry laboratory at the Lake Center campus in Lakeport,” said Wilda Shock, chairperson of Friends.
Proceeds from the past concerts have funded scholarships for Lake County students at Mendocino College, tutors at the Lake Center, and other programs benefiting local students.
More information about the Friends is available from Shock at 707-263-7575.
The Soper Reese Theatre is a restored performing arts venue operated by an all-volunteer management team under the auspices of the Lake County Arts Council.
“Concert proceeds will be dedicated to the next phases of theater renovation, including new restrooms,” said Mike Adams, executive director.
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- Written by: Ted Kooser
After my mother died, her best friend told me that they were so close that they could sit together in a room for an hour and neither felt she had to say a word.
Here's a fine poem by Dorianne Laux, about that kind of silence. Her most recent book is “The Book of Men” (W.W. Norton & Co., 2012) and she lives in North Carolina.
Enough Music
Sometimes, when we're on a long drive,
and we've talked enough and listened
to enough music and stopped twice,
once to eat, once to see the view,
we fall into this rhythm of silence.
It swings back and forth between us
like a rope over a lake.
Maybe it's what we don't say
that saves us.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation ( www.poetryfoundation.org ), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. They do not accept unsolicited submissions. Poem copyright ©1994 by Dorianne Laux, “Enough Music,” (What We Carry, BOA Editions, 1994). Poem reprinted by permission of Dorianne Laux and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.
