Last month I wrote an article titled, “Collision was a turning point on Nov. 18, 2007.” I received a lot of positive feedback from my readers and I thank you for that.

Since the holidays are coming up and my collision took place around the holidays I decided to elaborate a bit more on the consequences I had pay for the poor choice I made to drink and drive.

On Nov. 18, 2007, I was involved in a head-on collision on Highway 4 in Martinez. I chose to get behind the wheel of my car after a night of heavy drinking, got onto the freeway driving the wrong way.

“What idiot drives the wrong way on the freeway?” A question you may ask yourself. I did, it could happen to you or your mother, your father, sons or daughters, if you choose to drink and drive.

After the collision I was placed under arrest and charged with felony driving under the influence, driving on the wrong side of the road and causing injury. I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital and a few days later I was taken into custody where I spent the next seven months at West County Detention Facility in Richmond.

Christmas was approaching and I couldn't be there to see my daughter open her Christmas gifts or see her little face when she saw that Santa had been there the night before. Instead I was in jail where it was just like any other day. No decorations, no tree, no gifts, no Christmas carols, no family, no special dinner, no hugs and kisses.

What you get on Christmas Day from the jail is a warm TV dinner meal, being surrounded by strangers, the sounds of the deputy sheriffs shouting over the loud speaker and the sounds of your crying family over the phone wishing you were there with them.

Imagine talking to your children on the phone from jail and them asking the questions: "Why can't you be here? Why did you drink that bad stuff and wreck the car? When are you coming home?" These are very hard questions to explain to a 5-year-old.

My husband at the time, whom I had been together with since high school and married to for 11 years, had enough of my drinking; this was the straw that broke the camel's back for him. He filed for divorce, custody of our daughter and temporary ownership of our home.

This was not very easy to deal with while I was in jail. But it was me who made the choice to drink and drive. These are just a few of the consequences I had to pay for my actions. Others include three years' probation; three months of DUI classes which you have to pay for; one year suspended driver's license with no restrictions, which means that you also have to pay a lot of money when you do get it back; thousands of dollars in medical bills, court fines and fees; and, most importantly, the mental trauma I went through, knowing the pain I have caused to so many people.

The man I hit suffered severe injuries that included two broken femurs, punctured lungs, lacerated liver, a torn aorta, a crushed right hand and lacerations to his face. Imagine yourself being the cause of all that. He had to miss out on the holidays with his family as well. He had to go through countless surgeries and intense therapy. The pain he had to endure as a result of my actions was unnecessary.

In the blink of an eye, many lives were changed forever. Is it worth it? Seriously, think about how much you have to loose. Family, home, job, physical and mental health, possibly your or someone else’s life, everything you have worked so hard for.

If these things mean anything to you, don't drink and drive or get into a car with anyone who has. If these things don't mean anything to you, then expect to do some jail time, then you'll have plenty of time to think of how much they do mean to you. Take it from someone who has to live with this everyday.

Don't get me wrong in any of the things I have shared with you. I’m not looking for sympathy or trying to make it sound like, “Oh, poor me.” I got what I deserved and paid the price dearly for my actions. It’s what I do from here on out that really matters to me.

I joined Team DUI in the hopes of making a difference, to help educate our youth and adults about the dangers of drinking and driving. I hope by sharing my personal experience with you that it will help you make the right choice about drinking and driving.

I hope you all have a safe and fun holiday season!

Wendy Jensen is a member of Team DUI, a group of local individuals and officials working to prevent underage drinking and drinking and driving.

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The holiday season is upon us. With the festivities of the season comes accountability that is often not thought about.

The accountability comes when you step into a motor vehicle. When you are the driver of a motor vehicle, you hold your passenger's life in your hands along with the lives of passengers in other vehicles.

In the matter of a few seconds, a thoughtless, negligent choice of a drunk driver can forever change the lives of families and friends as they are left with the devastation of a deadly vehicle tragedy. The lives of many are shattered forever, as there is no way to pick up the pieces to one’s life once you have lost a loved one due to a negligent act of a thoughtless DUI driver. If you care enough about your passengers and other innocent people, then it is your responsibility to keep them safe.

Think of what your life would be like once you have received a telephone call informing you that your loved one was killed in a devastating DUI tragedy. That call could be about your spouse, close relative, best friend or your precious child. Think how grieving parents must feel as they say goodbye while watching their child’s casket being lowered into the ground. The intensity of that pain is next to none.

The thoughtless, negligent act of an irresponsible DUI driver can rip the heart out of a family and friends forever. They will never be whole again. No longer will the voice of a loved one be heard. No longer will a smile be seen. No longer will a loved one share in a life with their family or friends that they were meant to. The emptiness that a family feels is like a bottomless hole. All of this devastation is because someone carelessly chose to drink and drive without regard for another human being.

An irresponsible DUI driver, no matter what age, who continues to operate a motor vehicle without regard for the safety of their passengers or other innocent people, is inexcusable. There is no excuse that can condone the death of an innocent person due to a deadly DUI tragedy because a driver was selfish in their choice of actions.

Life is the most precious gift that we will ever have. Each time you get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, remember you hold life in your hands. To protect a life, you must be accountable for a life. When you drink and drive you are capable of murdering. You are capable of destroying a family forever. If you see yourself in this description either now or previously, it is not too late to hold yourself accountable and strive to change.

This holiday season, tragically, there are families that will no longer be able to share their special times together because of harmful choices that were made by an irresponsible DUI driver. Don’t be the one to rip a family apart because you were the cause of a DUI collision or tragedy. Take responsibility for your actions now, before it is too late.

Once you have caused a deadly DUI tragedy, there is no turning back. You will be forced to live with the consequences and your guilt for the rest of your life while an innocent family will be forced to live with devastation and emptiness for the rest of their lives.

We each have the power to allow everyone to have a safe and happy holiday as we all can make a responsible choice not to drink and drive.

Judy Thein serves on the Clearlake City Council and is a founding member of Team DUI, a group of individuals and officials working to stop underage drinking and drinking and driver. Her daughter was tragically killed in December 2005 because a DUI driver made an irresponsible choice to drink and drive.

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After the passage of Proposition 8, I was both angry and hurt. I attempted to understand just who it was that voted for this proposition, and why they did. My conclusion, a variety of individuals voted yes for various reasons. Not targeting groups of individuals in a negative way is what and where I want to be. I do know that most of the money from Yes on 8 (sources available through our Secretary of State) came from conservative Christians with confused religious leaders directing their flock in a vote that should be governed by our Constitution and Bill of Rights.

I have heard over the years many quotes from “religious leaders” condemning homosexual “lifestyle” based on biblical beliefs and teachings. I don’t believe many Christians know the depth of hurt, harm, destruction and death throughout the years created by their actions. I would like to end religious-based oppression directed today at homosexuals. I do know that this will be a long journey, as historically it always has.

Now is my time to heal, do my own homework on this subject that has brought us, once again, to a place of misunderstanding. I have no idea just how the love between two people can ever be an abomination as currently described by conservative Christians. I see this as simple and pure religious bigotry with a touch of arrogance attached. I also know for many, change comes very slow. Change for many never comes, with others it passes slowly, and still others find rapid transformation.

I believe that many people, including myself, have not carefully researched the biblical texts, those that often are used to condemn God’s lesbian, gay and transgender children. As it appears, most people who misuse the Bible don’t research the Scriptures. Individuals holding strong simply find a text that seems to support their prejudice and then spend the rest of their lives misquoting that text.

Rev Dr. Mel White says, “Even if we believe the scriptures are 'infallible' it’s terribly wrong and dangerous to think that our understanding of every biblical text is without error. For example, many Christians do not know that Jesus says nothing about same-sex behavior. Also the Jewish prophets are silent about homosexuality. Only six or seven of the Bible’s one million verses refer to same-sex behavior in any way, and none of these verses refer to homosexual orientation as it’s understood today.”

“Historically, people’s misinterpretation of the Bible has left a trail of suffering, bloodshed and death,” White says. “Over the centuries people have misused the Bible to defend bloody crusades, tragic inquisitions, support slavery, apartheid and segregation, persecute Jews and non-Christian people of faith, interracial marriage, the execution of women as witches and the support of the Ku Klux Klan.”

Just to name a few!

“The Bible is a book about God, and we must be open to new truth from scripture,” according to White. “The Bible sites hundreds of passages that today would be non-applicable.”

Just to name a few …

Deuteronomy 22:13-21

“If it is discovered that a bride in not a virgin, the Bible demands that she be executed by stoning immediately.”

Mark 10:1-12

“Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.”

Leviticus 18:19

“The Bible forbids a married couple from having intercourse during a woman’s period. If they disobey, both are to be executed.”

Mark 12:18-27

“If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have intercourse with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir.”

I suspect that people today do not agree with these teachings from the Bible about sex! As we know, women were property. Bible verses should not be held onto for all time but change with our growth and knowledge.

I suspect that we miss what a lot of this book is sayingl instead we spend much of our time debating sex and homosexuality.

So let's start at the beginning with Genesis. This is a creation story about the power of God who created all. Because the text says it is “natural” that a man and a woman come together to create new life, some people then conclude that a gay or lesbian couple are “unnatural.” This book is silent about all relationships that do now produce children!

One of the passages often used by Christians to justify their condemnation for homosexuals and homosexual lifestyles comes from Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. Leviticus is a holiness code written 3,000 years ago. This code contains many outdated sexual laws that are accepted practice today. It also talks about eating pork or shellfish, getting you fortune told, playing with the skin of a pig, wearing garments of mixed fabric.

The verse quoted on a continuum by conservative Christians says, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination.” The next verse, two chapters later, says, “A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed.”

“Abominations in Hebrew are behaviors that people of certain time and place consider tasteless or offensive,” explained White. “To the Jews an abomination was not law it was a common behavior by non-Jews that Jews thought was displeasing to God. But looking deeper at the old holiness codes what does the text says about God? People of faith must be very careful not to allow their own prejudices determine what standards hold true for today. Instead of pulling one item from an ancient Jewish holiness code and using it to condemn sexual or gender minorities, standards should be set in society that please God. Standards based on loving relationships both heterosexual and homosexual, looking for the wholeness of ourselves and others.”

“Holiness codes have been a part of the human culture, changing with the times throughout our history. Both Jesus and Paul said the holiness code of Leviticus does not pertain to Christian believers,” said White.

Nonetheless, there are still people who pull the two verses about men sleeping together from this ancient holiness code and conclude that the Bible condemns homosexuality, and as with Leviticus 20:13 they should then be executed!

OK, on to Sodom, Genesis 19:1-14. Jesus and five Old Testament prophets spoke of the sins that led to the destruction of Sodom. And you know what? Not one of them even mentions homosexuality. Just what does that say about homosexuality today? Nothing.

It was common practice for soldiers, thieves and bullies to rape a fallen enemy, thus asserting their victory. This act was about power and revenge, not about homosexuality or homosexual orientation. And guess what – this behavior is still happening today! The sexual act that occurs in the story of Sodom is a gang rape. That is why the story of Sodom says a lot about God’s will for us. It says nothing about homosexuality as we understand it today.

Now, what about Romans 1:26-27? In this the Apostle Paul describes non-Jewish women who exchange “natural use for unnatural use” and the non-Jewish men who “leave the natural use of women, working shame with each other.”

But let's go back 2,000 years when it was written. Paul was writing this letter to Rome after his missionary visit to the Mediterranean. What he saw was wild sex orgies with Goddesses of sex and passion instead of the one true God the apostle honors. The Bible is clear that sexuality is a gift from God to be honored and celebrated. The Bible is also clear that when that passion gets out of control we are in deep trouble. Were these homosexuals? No! These were people who abandoned God and sank into sexual depravity. That is not our lesbian and gay population of today! Getting to know a lesbian or gay man might help you to realize that is unjust to equate the love they have for each other today with the wild sex parties described in these biblical passages.

Now onto 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10. Both are intense and still debated today. What do these texts say about homosexuality? Nothing. They are about using children for sex! However with the confusion of the text and conversion from Greek and Hebrew, in 1958 for the first time in history a person translating that mysterious Greek word into English decided it meant homosexuals, even though there is no such word in Greek or Hebrew. But that translator made a decision for all of us to put that word homosexual in the English-language Bible for the very first time. Same time frame that, guess who, the Knights of Columbus put forth the beginning of legislative change for our Pledge of Allegiance, adding “one nation under God.”

Biblical authors are silent about homosexuality as we know it today. They never even comment on the responsible love a gay man or lesbian feel for another. The Bible is completely silent on the issue of sexual orientation. And no wonder. Sexual orientation wasn’t even known about until the 19th century. It remained “in the closet.”

In 1864, almost 3,000 years after Moses, German social scientist Karl Heinrich Ulrich was the first to declare that homosexuality was a distinct class of individuals. He concluded what we know as homosexuals today, we aren’t just heterosexuals choosing to perform same sex behaviors! We are a class of people whose same sex intimacy is at the very core of our beings from the very beginning of our lives.

The authors of the Bible are authorities in matters of faith. Many believe they can be trusted when they speak about God. But it should be quite obvious to anyone that they knew nothing about sexual orientation any more than they know about our universe, space travel, gravity, etc. etc. etc. Paul thought that the earth was flat with the sun moving up and down!

So what is the greatest commandment? “To love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” Second, “To love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

There is a growing body of evidence from science, psychology, history, psychiatry, medicine and personal experience that leads to a clear verdict. Homosexuality is neither a sickness nor a sin. Unfortunately, the church has always been slow, if not the last institution on earth, to accept a new truth.

Just look at the history of the church and change. In 1632 scientist Galileo supported Copernicus from the 15th century that the earth revolved around the sun. He was then placed, by the church, under house arrest for the remainder of his life! Of course 359 years later Pope John Paul II finally admitted the church had been wrong to interpret the Bible literally and apologized!

Just imagine the changes and the end to both death, torture and suffering homosexuals continue to experience today if conservative Christians just said, “We don’t understand your views about homosexuality but we love you and trust you for you also believe in God and seek God’s will in your lives ... you are welcome here.”

This has been a hard road for me to take. I come from a place of wanting clear separation of church and state, and would like to leave it at that. As it appears, from the last vote on Proposition 8, I am in the minority.

I leave you now asking these questions: Can we support full civil rights for all, even if we disagree? Can we love and respect each other, knowing we are all God's children? That is all I and other homosexuals are asking for.

Lenny Matthews lives in Lucerne.

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As I count the "switch-backs" and the number goes past 12, I look over at my husband to see if he is tolerating the drive. He seems to be so I focus, instead, on the rocky and tree-filled landscape before me. I can see why the Native Americans of this area chose to live here many years ago. It still has that raw and phenomenal beauty that must have captivated them when they stumbled upon it. Not to mention the plethora of natural resources available.

The first question I am often asked is, "Aren't you going to feel extremely isolated?"

I'm referring to moving to the quaint and lovely small town of Hidden Valley Lake. Coming from another small town of Sonoma, this often surprised me.

"Well, no more than what I felt like moving to Sonoma from Marin I guess."

Still, people gave me a sideways glance with a raised eyebrow when I told them my good news that we were relocating to the lovely area of Lake County.

"What will you do for fun? How are the schools? Isn't it really hot there?" The questions persisted. At times, they hinted at the socio-economic status.

In my mind, I imagine they are all just jealous and this is plain old envy. I answer, "It's beautiful there, we will do more outdoor kinds of things. The school my children will attend is rated quite high and I love the teaching philosophy which is unique and inspiring (International Baccalaureate) – and free. Last year, my daughter attended a private school that was far less superior in academics. Yes, it can get hot, but I seem to remember several very hot days here in Sonoma as well, and of course we have access to the beautiful lake of Hidden Valley, in addition to the pool. Oh, and I seem to recall a rather large lake close by that is scenic and spectacular in my humble opinion."

Stumped, one friend actually said, "I hope you don't like it."

If that's not honesty, I don't know what is.

Regardless, we do like it. In fact, we love it. It has been the best move for us, and although the commute for my husband can be somewhat daunting in the evenings (he travels to and from Santa Rosa as many in our community do), I know when he walks in the door he feels a sense of peacefulness and tranquility that living in the middle of Sonoma often did not provide.

Don't get me wrong, Sonoma is lovely. However, when you live across from the hospital and at the end of a bike path, the people parking in front of your house and the disrespectful dog walkers who ignore common decency to pick up after their animals get to be a bit of a distraction to say the least.

This doesn't even include the cost of housing, which is absurd unless you happen to be John Lassiter and can afford a house the size of a block on the upscale "east-side."

For us, when we first perused this area, our main concern was driving over the "hill." I was told, "You get used to it." This has proved to be fairly accurate. A bummer sometimes, yes, a scenic and gorgeous view, also yes. We have decided to take the good with the bad.

We went from a tiny home with one small bathroom to double the size and room for out of town guests. It is on top of a hill and the view and wildlife is fantastic. Maybe I could do without the rather large rattlesnake that we met on one of our "walk-throughs" or the scorpion on the ceiling of the kitchen who just needed to come in out of the cold. I was told rattlesnakes' mean "new life" and the scorpion was a good omen because I myself am a "Scorpio." Believe it or not, it doesn't matter to me. I am happy in this beautiful small town, and so are my children, husband and dog.

Although my dog wasn't too pleased when he got "head-butted" by an extremely large buck, at least he doesn't bark every 10 minutes at people parking in front of our house as he did in Sonoma. As I frantically called for my dog to save him from the charging deer's antlers, I realized life would certainly be different here. I might have to deal with more aggressive wildlife, but I prefer that to the noise and congestion of the ever growing town of Sonoma.

Attending a local farmers market had become almost as aggressive as the male deer when I just wanted to buy a few tomatoes. Walking through with a stroller had become impossible, and the "small town" feel that had attracted us in the first place was replaced by too many tourists and "wanna be" wine country enthusiasts.

I prefer waking up to hot-air balloons and shopping at our local Hardester's market where their tomatoes are just as plump and delicious and I don't have to drive around the block six times to find a parking place.

Star Laurence lives in Hidden Valley Lake with her family.

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If you are a follower of Jesus who voted for Proposition 8, you may want to sit down before reading this, especially if you think that the people who voted against it are immoral, liberal, non-religious and/or just plain crazy. I hope you’ll experience a paradigm shift that will knock you off your feet.

Many people like to say that the United States of America is a Christian nation. In a truly Christian nation, however, love and commitment between any adult gender combination would be encouraged, applauded and honored.

Need convincing? Remember that those who crucified Jesus did so because he was advocating a rethinking of Judaic Law which was heavily laden with anger, fear and vengeance. Many of the ones who call themselves "Christians" today are, in fact, acting a lot like Jesus' murderers; xenophobes who couldn't get past any transgression of the Law.

Here are a few biggies that got the ancients’ pants in a twist:

• According to Jesus, yes, it's OK to heal a sick person on the Sabbath – Luke 13.15-16.

• No, fasting is not necessary – Mark 2.19-20.

• Hey, it's OK to hang with people who are different than us – John 4.21-23.

• Don’t stress about washing your hands so rigorously; it’s what comes out that pollutes – Mark 7.1-24.

The list goes on and on. Some of these laws sound silly and unnecessary, even unbelievable to us today, but they were non-negotiable for Jews in Jesus’ day.

The paraphrases I listed are from the canon you might find in your church. Try reading some of the Gospels that didn't make it in. In Thomas vs. 53, for example, Jesus explains that circumcision is not necessary because if it was, God would have made boys this way to begin with. Lo and behold, the Apostle Paul himself recruited many new Gentile Christian converts with the message that butchering their privates was not required.

What kind of person would advocate breaking so many long-established laws? Someone immoral, liberal, non-religious or just plain crazy? Not unless you include Jesus and Paul in that description. So maybe we need to rethink things a little bit ...

Newsflash! Jesus was a liberal. He was also quite religious, totally moral and definitely not crazy.

All of the above-mentioned transgressions of the Law were said to be punishable by death according to Dead Sea Scrolls material – much of which isn't in our bibles, either. In fact, some scholars now believe that the "Wicked Priest" referred to in one of the Dead Sea Scrolls was in fact Jesus – a Jewish rabbi despised because he dared to preach a variation of the Law. Jesus died trying to get people to understand that LOVE is the way, period. Now that’s wicked!

With that said, it is indeed sad (and dare I say “wicked”) that so many followers of Jesus would dishonor the Savior today by morally linking both him and his Father to hateful causes such as denying gay people the right to marry.

Heads up: Old Testament Law prohibiting gay relations was written specifically for priests during Greek rule when the Jews desperately needed to populate their land. (Sex among men – especially with boys – was the "popular" thing then in Greek culture.) In fact, the Jewish rules regarding this issue changed from time to time as their population fluctuated up and down.

The fact that times and cultures change is the reason why Jesus wisely told his disciples that to enter the Kingdom of Heaven all that is necessary is to not murder, not commit adultery, not steal, not lie, honor your father and mother, and, of course LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR – Matthew 19.18-19. (Oh, and come follow Him after selling everything you own and giving it to the poor – Matthew 19.21 ... Wait, that smacks a bit of the dreaded “Socialism!” What’s going on here?)

Folks, these admonitions are simply the timeless basics that don't change if we want to live in peace with our fellow man and woman.

Here’s the bottom line: Jesus came to Earth 2,000 years ago trying to get people to lighten up and focus on love and peace. Jesus’ love is very powerful today as it is expressed through those who do His work. What is His work? Loving our neighbors and not being guided by fear, which fundamentally means respecting our neighbors’ rights which don’t affect us anyway. I, as a Disciple of Christ, am committed to choosing Love over Fear and this is why I voted No on Proposition 8.

Please, fervent believers who have been misled into thinking the Torah is the end-all-be-all, take some time to reconsider your positions. Don't be like those (such as Judas) who were so "zealous for the Law" that they ended up becoming angry and vengeful, and please quit demanding adherence to unreasonable Jewish Old Testament standards, many of which aren’t appropriate for our time.

Besides its prohibition of gay relations, Leviticus also forbids shaving your beard, wearing clothes woven from two kinds of material, and touching the skin of a dead pig – maybe we should we outlaw football? It further demands that adulterers be stoned to death, and that anyone with a skin disease dress in tatters, call out "Unclean! Unclean!" and be banished from the group.

How many of you come to church bringing offerings of ram and bull heads, pouring the requisite blood all over the altar? That, ladies and gentlemen, is Old Testament LAW; quite a far cry from Jesus' teachings in the New Testament.

The ancient religious scholars and Pharisees harassed and maligned many prophets, learned men and wise guides sent by God through the ages to teach them new information – Matthew 23.24. Today, thanks to the hard work of scientists and researchers, we know that being truly homosexual is not a mental illness or a choice. Are we to dishonor their work too by continuing to unfairly blame and condemn gay people for something they have no control over?

Listen up! God didn't just send us his information in the old days; He's loving, flexible and still talking to us NOW.

The ancients were especially angered by one humble man advocating this shocking new principle: Love, Compassion and Oneness with all of humankind. Are you threatened too? If so, this scripture might apply: "Their ears are open but they don’t hear a thing” – Luke 8.10

Meditate on it.

Gale Tompkins-Bischel is a Disciple of Christ who attends United Christian Parish in Lakeport. She lives in Kelseyville.

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They were talking at a party. The woman replied that, yes, she had heard about a man who was coming back to the community from a time in the service. She flipped her head and with scorn in her voice she said, "He was just a corporal you know."

An older man calmly asked her to tell what she knew about what a corporal was? Did she know what it took to become a Corporal of Marines? Could she please tell what she knew about what a Corporal of Marines did? Would she please share with them what she thought a Corporal of Marines had seen, had done?

She said she "didn't pay much attention to things like military ranks." She went on to say that she knew that "War is never the answer. And it does not matter where the man had been, what he had seen or done, when the point is that war is never the answer!"

The older man felt pity for the woman even as he realized that his blood was beginning to boil. He wondered how anyone could judge someone as unworthy at the same time they were admitting that they did not even know about the person they were condemning. He remembered that when the Nazis were attacking Great Briton that during a radio show that George Orwell had said: "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." But he did not say any of this out loud. Instead, without ever interrupting, he listened to the woman go on and on that she knew exactly how to fix the world.

Then he slowly and with conscious gentleness told her that to become a Corporal of Marines that first a young man or woman must enlist by signing a contract committing to serve for a fixed time. Say four or five years. During which time he or she would give up the right to live in the place of their choice, to work in a job of their own choosing. Giving up the right to awaken when they wanted to wake up, to take a weekend off, to call in sick because they just did not feel like going to work that day. Giving up the right to choose whom they would associate with. Giving up even the ability to choose what clothes to wear or what to eat that day. Giving up the right to be with their families, to be with their loved ones.

The old man said that when a man or a woman signs their enlistment papers they know are signing a blank check to give their country any amount required, up to and including their life.

He said that one of the first things the young man or woman who was to become a Corporal of Marines must do is to enter Marine Boot Camp as a "recruit." In boot camp the "recruit" must pass numerous tests – physical tests, intellectual tests, emotional tests – in order to graduate. Many do not pass those tests. The ones that do may become "privates." Then they must pass more tests, demonstrate competency in a series of increasingly more difficult, more complex, more demanding tasks, perform more duties satisfactorily, avoid disciplinary actions that could prevent promotion to the rank of "Private First Class." This must be accomplished yet again to be promoted to the rank of "Lance Corporal."

The older man then explained that these had all been "enlisted ranks." He said that the next rank was a step up to be a "non-commissioned officer." That a Corporal of Marines was trained to be, and did become, and must be a leader of Marines in all the enlisted ranks. That far from blindly doing only whatever they were told, that a Corporal of Marines must accomplish tasks not of their own choosing, charged with deciding how best to do so quickly, efficiently, without the resources they may desire, constantly adapting to unpredictable conditions that can change in a moment, all while minimizing risk to civilians and other troops. Because if the corporal was found to have unnecessarily endangered either troops or civilians then the corporal may spend a long time in prison

The old man shared with the woman the experience he had on a flight sitting next to a Marine Lance Corporal returning from duty overseas to his family in Oklahoma, how the young Marine had been seriously wounded and how they had talked about the different kinds of nightmares they had. Nightmares about what had happened. Nightmares about what almost happened, could have happened. How they instantly knew the difference between these two types of nightmares.

They talked about how sometimes at first they would have clear recall of an event, then later when they tried to think about it again, they would only be able to find a "memory of the memory," because their minds would find it too painful to go back to the original memory.

Then they talked about nightmares at night that you wake up covered in sweat. Nightmares in the daytime that you stuff away and do your best to realize that you are not there anymore and act as if everything is OK so that you do not upset other people.

They talked about how they did not talk with family members, girlfriends or wives about what they had seen, heard, felt, because one of the reasons they went to war was so that the family members, the wife, the girlfriend, would never have to have those terrible experiences.

The old man talked slowly and gently. He asked a question of the woman who said she did not know and did not care what a Corporal of Marines was. He asked her how many people she had known in her lifetime who were capable of doing everything it took to be a Corporal of Marines?

The woman was silent. She did not answer. The old man apologized if he had upset her. He politely gave his leave and walked out into the night.

When he got outside he quickly stepped to the side so he would be silhouetted by the door light for as short a moment as possible. He scanned the tree line for any shape, any movement that was out of place. His hands felt empty without his rifle. He drove home to another night when he would wake up again and again listening for any noise that did not seem right.

In the morning after a total of a few hours of sleep in a cool room the sheets on his bed were soaked with his sweat. And he wondered if the woman at the party would remember anything at all about what it was to be a Corporal of Marines.

R. Randy Sutton is a proud Marine dad. He lives in Lakeport.

{mos_sb_discuss:4}